Insta-Rule #1 – Fake it ’til You Make It

Fake It ’til You Make It

The insta-whorde is famous for it. Literally famous for faking it. Only problem is – most don’t ever make it.

Take Kurt Benz aka Twink182 for example. We recently posted about the #exclusive NutSeekers party he wasn’t invited to, then this shot appears on Twink’s IG Story:

Off to the NestSeekers Holiday party, eh? So, did we just not see you in the photo op (no fucking way Kurt missed an opportunity to get his mug in on an IG pic from NutSeekers, he would have given his left nut to be seen in that) OR did NutSeekers have a smaller, lamer, less exclusive party for the failures in the office? Was it a coffee-runner party where all the lowly newbies get to actually drink instead of waiting hand and foot on the Real Realtors?

Front all you like, Kurt. But we know you didn’t get to go to the “good” adult party. You got stuck at the kiddy table of Christmas Parties and you know it too. Hence why Kurt’s next snap shows him to be hanging out with the scurge of society to drown his unpopularity sorrows – FreddyFags and Kina Tavary.

If that’s who you party with to make yourself feel better about your lack of social ladder climbing – you’re not doing so great. Oh wait. It gets worse.

James Kennedy from Pump Rules. 

I get major Twink vibes from James. How the fuck was he getting ANY pussy at Pump? Kurt is totes sucking his schlong.

In this clip they were asking for phone numbers and saying they would facetime you right now if you DM them your digits. What do you think – mainly girls or gay guys dived in the DMS? 😂

Aside from wanting to know why the fuck he’s flaunting another Double-Jean fail, I’m interested to know who the new skank is pictured here:

Even Prince Nasir Ali Kalappa did not recognise this girl at first glance – any ideas ZW? We need to warn her LOL

On a different, less homo note, we all know an insta-whore fake-it-til-you-make-it look is never complete without some hardcore contouring. Check out this funny vid from my favourite Instagrammer, Colonial_womanonthewing; as she tranforms herself into a shiny, contoured member of the insta-whorde. Get your makeup trowels girls, it’s time to go next level retard.