ZW Intelligence

Insta-Rule #1 – Fake it ’til You Make It

Fake It ’til You Make It

The insta-whorde is famous for it. Literally famous for faking it. Only problem is – most don’t ever make it.

Take Kurt Benz aka Twink182 for example. We recently posted about the #exclusive NutSeekers party he wasn’t invited to, then this shot appears on Twink’s IG Story:

Off to the NestSeekers Holiday party, eh? So, did we just not see you in the photo op (no fucking way Kurt missed an opportunity to get his mug in on an IG pic from NutSeekers, he would have given his left nut to be seen in that) OR did NutSeekers have a smaller, lamer, less exclusive party for the failures in the office? Was it a coffee-runner party where all the lowly newbies get to actually drink instead of waiting hand and foot on the Real Realtors?

Front all you like, Kurt. But we know you didn’t get to go to the “good” adult party. You got stuck at the kiddy table of Christmas Parties and you know it too. Hence why Kurt’s next snap shows him to be hanging out with the scurge of society to drown his unpopularity sorrows – FreddyFags and Kina Tavary.

If that’s who you party with to make yourself feel better about your lack of social ladder climbing – you’re not doing so great. Oh wait. It gets worse.

James Kennedy from Pump Rules. 

I get major Twink vibes from James. How the fuck was he getting ANY pussy at Pump? Kurt is totes sucking his schlong.

In this clip they were asking for phone numbers and saying they would facetime you right now if you DM them your digits. What do you think – mainly girls or gay guys dived in the DMS? 😂

Aside from wanting to know why the fuck he’s flaunting another Double-Jean fail, I’m interested to know who the new skank is pictured here:

Even Prince Nasir Ali Kalappa did not recognise this girl at first glance – any ideas ZW? We need to warn her LOL

On a different, less homo note, we all know an insta-whore fake-it-til-you-make-it look is never complete without some hardcore contouring. Check out this funny vid from my favourite Instagrammer, Colonial_womanonthewing; as she tranforms herself into a shiny, contoured member of the insta-whorde. Get your makeup trowels girls, it’s time to go next level retard. 

0 Comments

  1. marciababii

    Lol Nut seekers. I don’t get his fashion sense.

  2. AP

    Hhahha!!! She is so funny! Had me legit laughing out loud. Goodness, girl!

  3. Now, now, let’s not call it DouchFags favorite boys night out hobby

  4. Maia

    I think that ho is ireneberes

  5. Gadda Bait

    I died at Blade 2.

  6. OCgirl12

    YES you know he does that shit!!!! Spoiled little fuckface! That happens to be like one of my number one pet peeves – I would actually feel comfortable saying it IS my number one pet peeve. No excuse for that shit no matter who you are. I would lovvve to see twink get jumped lol one day. I know that’s random I just think he’s due for an ass kicking ! Everyone in life (me included) gets one once or more in their lifetime and his needs to happen. It’s builds character and creates some humility for some lol. He is so far gone reality wise lol.

  7. Scorpio

    I think you mean “fare”. Not trying to be a language Hitler, just helpful.

  8. TheTruth

    Hands down Kurt Benz is the biggest tool out there!! I used to think it was Sharkey but nobody is buying Sharkey’s delusions, so it’s just sad… But Kurt Benz is on a whole other level with his poser ass and delusions of grandeur. We need to make this go viral, like how we stopped Fakio because Kurt is out of control. I suggest anyone with a burner IG or FB account send this link to all the people commenting on his fake ass posts.

  9. Donnie Darko

    Correct me if I’m wrong. So this poser was living in his parents condo in Vegas and now he’s moved back to LA and is living with his parents in the San Fernando Valley, yet claims he’s this big shot baller?

  10. Punky B.

    I already love friends but dam that one was hella funny!

  11. Disqus has been a jerkface to me for 2 months. Your guess is as good as mine.

  12. Maia

    Either closeted or post-op like Jamie Love and Gizel.

  13. The Bad Seed

    Oh twinkster at it again!

  14. The_Truth_Hurts2012

    probably why Andrea went to a different man to satisfy her needs. She probably got tired of slipping Sharkey 2 up the 6.

  15. Johnny "M'Fing" Drama

    im curious, does anyone know how old this guy is? 30, 35?

  16. smugjew

    New Beard was posted on his IG a few weeks ago. She overdoes the head tilt.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/803488636eaf95b729950bae7e083926d504ce536979d1876fc81be9669ff093.png

  17. Blunt-Master_puff_puff_

    Me thinks someone took Colonial_womanonthewing’s make-up tutorial a little too seriously… https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b292b22318d3a8de2c8e0c08cd2980dada530da8c3460686b281f8fbe79e974f.jpg

  18. Kay More

    I thought the same thing..obviously he was embarrassed he wasn’t invited so in hindsight “went”. That’s not what you’d wear

  19. Kay More

    Kina Tavary should be called Kina Travesty. Those lips are

  20. Scorpio

    You beat me.

  21. Scorpio

    She looks way better before the makeup.

  22. Penza

    Hello Kitty earrings. Isn’t she a little long in the tooth for that?

    • When she gets a hello kitty phone case I’ll start to be concerned.

    • Scorpio

      Good eye. I say it is never too late for a girl to be girly. It can be cute, if it is not over the top. Men, however, definitely have to leave that kind of stuff behind. I haven’t worn my Hello Kitty pajamas in weeks.

  23. Digitus impudicus

    Omg, Colonial with the eyebrows. Dying laughing. I want more!

  24. Stelio Kontos

    Ok. Either:
    A. He is dreaming of schlong
    B. There is a hot guy across the room
    C. Girls are yucky when they get too close https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/efa7c312c62bb79ed9c08a41135f99293020bcf2375c23a2f0021cebddfdfc67.jpg

  25. Happy Pants

    Colonial Woman on the Wing is amazeballs. Could legit party with that bitch. Bravo.

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