Lonnie Turner on the Insta-fame Hunt

ZW Submission:

[anon]

ZW, meet Lonnie Turner. Wannabe Baller. Insta-thirsty Playaa. Two timing asshole.

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Lonnie has caused both ire and admiration among the men and women of social media after he posted a picture of his wife and his side piece side by side and captioned it “These two better learn to get along”

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The comments range from outrage on behalf of the women, to a nonchalant Lonnie claiming they ain’t leaving because neither wants “to go back to eating leftover taco meat and soup”. Charming.

News articles say neither woman was aware that he was going to publicly out their arrangement.

The side piece, Helen, seems cool with it. 

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The wife, Tammy, has slammed her social media shut and has gone private.

2 Questions. Seeing as quite a few news outlets are picking up the story; will ol’ Lonnie be worth keeping an on eye on as he goes down the social media trainwreck path, his ego growing with each new follower he gains?

And, Would you deal with a side piece/be a side piece?

I fucking love polls. Thanks OP. ~QoT~
  • Badbret 2.0

    Am I supposed to penetrate this with my white dick. Smh

    • Michael Girouard

      Someone really should penetrate him with a white dick. Frequently.

      • Penza

        … and with great aplomb.

  • not2slobro

    only way I see this guy having this much influence over 2 women, if he has a midget friend with a 12″ tool stashed in that brown travel bag.

    • Michael Girouard

      But he certainly has a healthy sense of self-esteem.

      • JimU113

        Or a sense of delusion that rivals Bev.

        • Michael Girouard

          I call that two sides of the same sad coin.

    • JimU113

      Hope Tyrion has an airhole in that bag.

  • Side piece is winning. She has the couples profile pic vs the wife’s solo selfie.

    • Chalupa Batman

      Poor Tammy =(

  • The_Truth_Hurts2012

    I don’t know who I feel more sorry for, the guy or the two women in love with the guy.

    • MissPell

      I pick none of the above.

      • Michael Girouard

        Me too. In spades.

  • AmericanTopTeam

    If I’m not enough or you don’t want to be with me and only me- I’m cool with that but no way in hell am I going to let you disrespect me publicly OR privately. I might be sad but I’ll move right the fuck on

  • AmericanTopTeam

    B I N G O

  • Penza

    I never heard of this guy, is related to Lana Turner or something? Anyway, he sure thinks highly of himself, and lowly of his women.

  • Michael Girouard

    Nature frequently gives unattractive people an excesssive sense of entitlement so that they that they can get through life.

  • Andrea’s Bangs

    Where does one acquire leftover taco meat?

    • Penza

      Taco Bell’s dumpster.

    • Maia

      Tricia’s bodega…

      • JimU113

        Is that what they’re calling it these days? We used to call it a twat.

    • Pam

      I would think Andrea’s Bangs have plenty of experience with leftover meat

  • Scott Toyoyota

    did only the girls vote in the zw poll

    • LadyQ

      I voted B. As long as there is communication who cares?

      • Scott Toyoyota

        you are a keeper!!

  • JimU113

    I went monogamy. If she’s okay with you hooking up with other women, she’s probably hooking up with other men. Two can play…

  • Seriously

    Not long winded but I’ve never wanted to get married and I don’t think I’ll ever want to be in a committed relationship with anyone. Im still young and that might change but for now duck monogamy lol I’m not saying I want to sleep with the world but I want to be able to date or bang who I want, when I want.

    Remember: to each their own

    • HEARTHSTONEB3TCH

      haha i figured this out after a year into my current relationship. Love the dude but if we part… im riding solo im riding solo.

      • JimU113

        Just be sure Leia is down with it. Wait, sorry. Wrong Solo.

        • MissPell

          LOL I don’t know why but I found that really funny.

          • JimU113

            Your subconscious gets it.

  • Persephone

    Stupid females.

  • Maia

    Fucks that bullshit.

  • Stelio Kontos

    Obvious PCM wanna be. Discretion is the key, thirst is the bane of our existence.
    There is so much wrong with this cornball and his situation, I can’t help but think “staged for social media”.
    He is also an example of our loose definition of “sidechick”. He more than likely has an unclaimed dependant.

  • Dr.Christian Troy

    I wonder where he sells drugs?

  • o3mta3o

    Since I’ve been invited to leave a long winded comment, here goes.
    I prefer monogamy for the safety of it. I suppose it makes a difference if you and your partner have great sexual chemistry because sex makes the world go round. STD’s terrify me and my partner.
    Having said that, I think if you’re honest with your partner about your needs and take the time to find a person who’s into it, or at least ok with it, go nuts.
    Just don’t be a shit and risk someone’s health because you’re too much of a pussy to say what you need.

    • Kay More

      “Just don’t be a shit and risk someone’s health because you’re too much of a pussy to say what you need.”.
      I agree with this so much..never put it in words. I’ve known of situations where a partner took the pu$$y way out and risked the others health. I’m plain spoken when it comes to sex & health.

      • Sammi Jo

        Yep. Not only is health and disease a factor..but children could be result as well. Too much mess and stress for me

  • Wow. He thinks they have to live with this or starve? Ladies, just pick option three. Its called making your own fucking money.

    • Wait, his wife looks like she is dressed for work…just leave him girly! He’s bald and I bet He isn’t packing or swimming in dough so what’s the point. I don’t think most guys are man enough for one woman let alone two. If he’s got 10+ inches, lots of $ , sleeps 3 hours a night and can listen to your problems then maybe hes up to the task but I don’t know. Its like that fag on the sister wives show. I end up yelling at the TV when I see him cause I don’t believe he can satisfy one woman let alone the bunch he has somehow reeled in

    • Habib Fazil

      there is a 3rd option, off the turd and cannibalize him… no need to starve

  • I would say I feel sorry for his wife but if she is aware of his side bitch and chooses to stay with him that’s on her. There’s no way in hell I’d put myself in this type of situation. What happened to being an undercover side bitch? You’re not supposed to flaunt your home wrecking. You’re supposed to get that money and lay low.

    • Pam

      I know my opinion is unpopular but i think i could share.

      • HEARTHSTONEB3TCH

        LMFAO! PAM

        • Pam

          Im good at sharing. And i like a lot of space. So i think i could do it. I have the guy tuesday, Thursday and Saturday and the other girl has him the rest of the week. Or we could swap him out every week. Im flexible.

          • Habib Fazil

            go with two or three days at a time, saves a lot on laundry…

          • HEARTHSTONEB3TCH

            me too lol

    • HEARTHSTONEB3TCH

      #hannnn I never understood women who love flaunting being a hoe.

  • Miranda Rights

    I’d cut your dick off and glue it to your forehead so you’d look like a limp-dick unicorn

    • JimU113

      Or a Dik Itchy.

  • Chalupa Batman

    I believe people should have the freedom to do as they please, but if you are in a committed relationship and decide to step out both people in the relationship should be OK with it. I support the female and male friends I have that party and sleep around. If you are being safe and aren’t hurting anyone, do it!

    I personally love monogamous relationships. I had a brief period between my practice marriage and my current forever marriage –told you I love monogamy– where I upped my number a bit. It was fun in its own way but it was not fulfilling to me. I like intimacy, devotion, unconditional love, etc. It has been 3 years and I still love seeing my husband’s face every day (and sitting on it every night. JK…).

  • HEARTHSTONEB3TCH

    I could not share the MAN I am married too… meaning that if i went that far to marry him then I know he is the one.( I think i am to young to be focused on marriage when it’s my career drive that is way more higher at the moment). Now I have brought up to my current boyfriend different situations of poly relationships but he is not cool with it… He is more introverted and close minded and I am the extrovert open minded willing to try other things ( of course always with healthy communication) I prefer more unconventional relationships even though I am kinda traditional as well. As I get older and figuring things out about myself I learn more and more. My parents stayed together 30 years despite cheating, money problems, 4 daughters and different fucked up shit…. It’s all different for everyone.

  • HEARTHSTONEB3TCH

    that guy’s dong better go up the coochie hole and out that chicks mouth if she is accepting him staying….

  • Penza

    I’m on a desktop, and all I ever see here are little squares with numbers on them. I don’t know how to turn them into emojis, and I know if I asked about it, I probably wouldn’t understand the answer.

  • Digitus impudicus

    I believe monogamy is the most beautiful thing I can give my man to show my boundless love and respect for him. It’s a great feeling!

  • Kay More

    Why’s he got a lady bag??

  • Stelio Kontos

    Also, I am pro monogamy. Not a perfect track record, but batting .1000 in my current relationship.
    I will tell you something, monogamy is that fuckin red pill. All the mystery and secrets of smashin females disappear and the world is a lucid, surreal place when you commit to a single person.

  • JimU113
    • Sammi Jo

      LMAO!!!

  • Happy Pants

    Fantastic.

  • Habib Fazil

    wonder if he’d like to redeem himself and get that youngster of Tricia emancipated right quick like…

  • Tuco Salamanca

    FYI, Dead tooth had her baby everyone. I saw the pic of the kid and instantly felt bad for her. Poor kid got an awful name too.

    • nancy young

      Isn’t it like Cheridyn? Also spelled ‘Sheraton’ after the hotel where this abomination was conceived in by some rando

      • Tuco Salamanca

        That is correct. This her her trying to be creative and different. No one can give their child normal names these days. The middle name is Athena or something like that. Cheridyn Athena…boy that’s a mouthful.

        • Penza

          …that’s what she said.

          I see lots of Hello Kitty stuff in her future.

          • MissPell

            I was surprised to see that she didn’t ask for a bunch of Hello Kitty stuff on her baby gift registry. I think there was only a couple of things that were Hello Kitty.

          • Penza

            The baby is innocent, maybe motherhood will maker Bev a better person… though I doubt it.

      • Habib Fazil

        couldn’t spell discount eh????

      • Dr. Butts McGee, PhD

        Ms. Sheraton and Ms. Hilton! Clever!

    • Penza

      Awww, good for her, I bet she’s thrilled to be un-preggo.

  • Luke Duke

    Socks and athletic shoes at the pool?? What do I know, I’m white!

    • Penza

      He’s got another pair behind his chair, baby blue ones. I bet his bitches bought them for him.

    • MissPell

      Do you wear your ‘shit kickers’ when you hang out at “Hazzard Pond”? ha

  • Whitney BeatMe

    Ok my two cents…. I was the side chick once when I was younger. I gave no fucks, he gave no fucks, and it was kind of fun waiting to see if the wife figured it out. Now that I’m older I think men who cheat without the ok from their partner are pigs. There are lots of women who are cool with this kind of arrangement so be with them. I will not lower myself to mess with a married dude cause I think I’m better than that and I won’t settle for a wandering dick. Makes for lots of lonely nights but at least I sleep peacefully knowing I’m not being played.
    As for this guy, he’s a pathetic slob, and just cause you got two women to agree to your terms, you don’t need to brag. These ladies have mothers and probably some male relatives who would split his dome open because the post is disrespectful.

  • Olive Blackcock

    Um um um…..I love chocolate men! He gets me so moist looking at him. I would love to get a gallon of chocolate pudding and lick it out of his ass. I would win him over real quick and make him forget about those two bitches. Check out how we I am in my attached photo!!!

  • Haha it is just a sequence of random useless emojis like a floppy disk, a banana and a star of David.

  • jujubeans

    He looks like a boring, stupid, angry asshole who doesn’t have the intelligence to be witty and frank like he so wants people to think he is. At the same time, these women can probably leave anytime they have had enough. He is making no secret of who he is, which is always better than trying to lie about it…. so the ball is in their court.

  • Spartacus

    Baldy!