ZW Intelligence

Sunday Funday: Awkward Edition

Sunday Funday: Awkward Edition

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Alrighty, lets wrap this week up with some awkwardness from the dopiest members of the insta-whorde.

SirTTP sent me this video of Melanie Martin from one of the Camversity socials. Awkward much? First of all, it’s pretty hard to look past the Chompers- are those veneers or an accordian? No wonder Kurt wouldn’t stick his peepee in there. Secondly, how well do you think Melanie will do at this camming thing? Bitch has no idea what the fuck she is doing.
Those cams are live and Melanie is used to the insta-whore standard procedure of taking 127 shots, picking the best one, filtering, shopping, googling a fun caption and then posting. This should be good. I’m signing up to view her as soon as the Camversity site goes live. Fun shall be had.

 

Then there’s Yotta. Ok we all know he’s super dorky and tries so damn hard to maintain his “hero” façade but these new antics are way beyond dorky and definitely fall into the awkward category.
Apparently there is a fake yotta instagram account. It seriously looks like this guy created the fake account just to troll himself.

First of all, he’s following the account. Second – he says he’s reported it. Now, Yotta’s account is actually verified and that fake account is obviously impersonating him – instagram would have taken that page down pretty quick if he really did report it.

…Then we have these comments

Is Yotta trolling himself? AWKWARD.

 

Now, I dunno about you, but not only is this latest idea from Dave Grutman more awkward than Nik Richie’s wine that “pairs best with burgers”, it’s also kinda fucking gross too. “All of me”? Ew. Pass. When I think of Groot, the kind of fragrance that comes to mind is definitely not an aromatic candle. More like desperation along with a hint of hooker and pit stains. Kinda how I imagine Sharkey smells after a hard day pounding the pavement.

Err, this was kinda awk too, Grutman. I’m gonna go out on a limb and say you need to shit wayyy more, buddy. Every pound counts.

Bringing up the bottom of the list (she’d be used to that by now, no doubt) is Jen Wilke. Not only is the pic laughably awkward and lame, but she tagged Guess and Paul Marciano.

LOL. Like he knows or cares who the fuck you are Jen. He probably despises basic bitches like you wearing his label. Don’t designers usually “like” a pic of a model wearing their gear when it’s on social media? Perhaps its because this is not current season wear (and it’s not even listed in the sale section of their store as last season) aaaand as far as I can see, Guess made that jacket in brown – not that gross orange you’re sportin’ Jen. Also the collar hasn’t even been faked properly to look the same. Hah. Awkward.

Who did I miss? Share the awk you found on social media with the ZW Nation in the comments!

0 Comments

  1. MissArgentina

    Sorry Jen. I Guess I’d pleather not look at this sad little photo.

  2. Pam

    I was so happy when Starbucks started making the double shot light. Like those small cans. I can drink those and they are so good.

  3. Lame Equis

    Wearing fake guess is next level desperate. I’m not even an IG model or hooker and I can afford that shit. Jen, get a job.

  4. Stelio Kontos

    Ahhh….flattery will get you on my good side.
    For the record, somewhere near Denzel tone with the articulation of a Courtney B Vance.

  5. Scorpio

    Fascinating. I wonder what it was that put that particular voice in your head.

  6. Scorpio

    Another great avi. Sorry, though, I don’t switch.

  7. Pam

    I do love the “shit bit”

  8. Whitney BeatMe

    That strugglejacket of Jen’s… as queen pointed out the color is wrong. As well I have noticed that the vertical seams running down the real jacket on the chest and sleeves are absent in Jen’s abortion coat. Tagging the guy who made the fucking jacket, when it’s not even his coat.. I don’t like to wish bad things on people but someday if her anus prolapses or she gets really fat after a baby then I wouldn’t feel bad laughing.

  9. Pam

    I’m sure your purse is cute. I like some studded things. I have a pair of boots that have like a small belt type thing that is removable that has studs on it. Studs are ok with the right outfit and venue as long as they aren’t overdone.

  10. Stelio Kontos

    Why does Yotta’s “troll” have the same accent?
    Wait….maybe I am just doing that in my head? I can’t be the only one who read those correspondences in that same weird Germy Spermy accent.

  11. Pam

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d7ebab97cf27175de6dbb8559a8f9346bf9db706d020543183dff69996dcc02c.jpg I found her “struggle purse” in a store!! I tried to crop my daughters face out of the pic. She kept asking why I wanted to take her pic with such an awful purse.

    • Hahaha!!! She’s so cute…and you hung that monstrosity on her? I’m calling CPS expect a home visit

      • Pam

        Thank you! U may be able to see we were in one of those kinda dirty tj maxx type stores. That purse looked so similar I couldn’t resist photo. Even my 8 year old has better taste in fashion. Haha. Seriously though my kid has a problem begging for expensive shit. The $190 Uggs on her feet in that pic are one of the things. Fortunately she’s an only child and grandchild so she has 2 grandmas that will buy her pretty much anything she wants. She’s a good kid though. Makes all As and is quite the little soccer star.

  12. Maia

    Wilke. That’s the Guess what Target I got this struggle outfit from.

  13. €r2

    I was just going to submit yotta but you are faster lol and also you guys should check his instagram stories so that you can see how stupid he is…

  14. Scorpio

    Why not just step on a regular scale before and after a dump? That’s what I do. Sometimes, I impress even myself.

  15. Digitus impudicus

    Xoxo!

  16. Blunt-Master_puff_puff_

    IG noob here, what do the purple eyes and opposing green arrows mean? (please & thank-you) https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a3d45461d49c44e065f6b09ea0d5ad93ac10bc2537b36aaad106adff69e71b01.jpg

    • Eye icon is the number of views. The arrow one I’m not sure, interaction/shares maybe? His screenshot is from snapchat I think. My extent of snapchat knowledge goes as far as taking ridiculous selfies and annoying the ZW Crew with them. Pretty sure they’re gonna disown me soon.

  17. Digitus impudicus

    Um, Wilke? Yeah, aren’t you old enough to know that a: posting desperate selfies on social media does NOT make you a “model” and b: actually being a “model” is really nothing special at all?

  18. Sammi Jo

    Also, Yotta is the type of dude that that will read anything and “apply” it to “enrich” his life. May I suggest.. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a46ef9c4cbe75e24842708dea2ed085e3be7539ec9388b2c24cbbb0774180c8c.jpg

  19. Vicki Vallencourt

    i was gonna say that jen makes that jacket look very cheap. my sweat pants are #verawangforkhols
    #suckstosuck

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