#CryptExpressNews

The CryptKeeper Can’t Keep A Job!

ZW Update:

Tiffany Vine

AKA

The Cryptkeeper

AKA

(By SmugJew)

CHOO CHOO! The Cryptkeeper Express has now officially reached runaway train status as Tiffany Vine blows yet another service industry job, this time in just a week.

This latest implosion comes hot on the heels of her “epic, wild night” at a Metallica concert in Denver, CO where she performed a manual sex act for the road crew in exchange for the privilege of holding the band’s instruments.
Despite assurances that she was leaving the service industry and would be “actively combing the job market” she of course wound up with another crappy waitress gig, this time at Park Tavern in Denver.
Still suffering from depleted serotonin levels after her party escapades, Teef had a blockbuster meltdown at work today.
BLACK METAL TABLES AND CHAIRS!
As is her usual MO, the rant continued into the comments section of her FB post where she made sure to trash her manager repeatedly.
Someone maybe should tell her that waitress jobs usually require you to STAND for HOURS ON END. (But yeah, $6.26/hr sucks LOL)
There is a charming naïveté to her bold proclamation that she is ready to be “done with my degree and out of the service industry.” No company is going to take Teef and her circus tits seriously with a pantomime degree from a 5th rate college.
She has about as much chance of making it in the business world as she does becoming a NASA astronaut. Well scratch that — Teef would definitely go to Uranus.
 Yep -That degree is going to get Teefs about as close to a REAL career…as she got to the REAL members of Metallica. ~QoT~

0 Comments

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  2. Observer

    No recent meltdowns? I need entertainment being stuck in the house, sucks. I’m easily bored and entertained.

    • El Hijo De Fistfight

      I refuse to believe there was nothing over the holiday. CMON ZW stop holding out!

      • smugjew

        There’s a newer story that has 500 comments. Check it out.

        • El Hijo De Fistfight

          Sorry my disqus is fucking up and not showing new updates

  3. Digitus impudicus

    Girl, I am sending you a big healing hug. The only bad news is that you hurt. You are more important as you than seeing Circus Tits out and about! Speedy healing …

  4. Texas Darling

    Hope you’re ok. What happened???

    • Observer

      I became the clumsiest person in Denver.

      I’ve got a few titanium screws in my body now.

      • Texas Darling

        Yikes!!! I’ve had a plate put in my wrist before. Not fun at all. Hope you’re pain-free very soon!!!

  5. You might want to edit this. I feel it’s quite identifying to your person. Just looking out for you.

    • Digitus impudicus

      She scares herself when she has a rare sober moment and looks in the mirror literally … and figuratively.

  6. Digitus impudicus

    This is what I have to say to Teefs:

    Seriously, you filthy cunt? You think all women are jealous of you because men look at you to LAUGH AT YOU? Do you honestly believe you are attractive and sexy? You look like a fucking badly drawn cartoon! Men don’t want you, Teefs!

    Real men (Not Randy) look at you and think “crusty mudflaps around a gaping black hole, circus tits, cum-lined esophagus. Just wants $$ and backstage passes.”

  7. Unbelievable

    Why doesn’t she stand straight legged as that would show if her “exercise” is actually working. Tilting a leg and putting all your weight on the other will give this effect genius https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d27b1e5859539262d8e2471d46391ae3e2c72d75bf08c4cb9595c075d90aac27.png

  8. Morty Tucker

    Tiffany Vine is proof that at some point, at some time, the Bergens were fucking the Trolls.

  9. El Hijo De Fistfight

    You mean dudes are finally sick of your bullshit antics & delete you to rehab their sanity.

  10. Meth cab for Booty

    She’s on a mission on instagram. i follow like 500 people and i saw at least 10 posts scrolling after work.

    The diet pills are making her cray cray

  11. Observer

    I saw this the other day and literally laughed out loud because it reminded me of her wearing those stupid Underoos to “workout”. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/63ba49ab35329caa66b740dff537bf1ddfb5d66a0495a04cfc587f373fc94b60.jpg

  12. Unbelievable

    No job, no man, personality of a stone. Oh yea, you’re living the dream https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8a1205a1cabd5b2f2468ccb7d4d6af56569d5fabf65fa587c87d95db52fd4356.png

    • RAE_KWON

      Cool champion brand sneaks, workout kween….. What gym does she work out at?! I wanna discus throw a ten pound plate at that atrocity she calls a fuckin face….

  13. AmericanTopTeam

    Our anonymous dipshit who sucks just as bad at remaining anonymous as adopting kids

  14. Elise

    I’m no Farrah-teen-mom-back-door-what’s-her-name fan, but Farrah wore this better.

  15. Youre really scared of getting old. You need to face your fears because its happening no matter what you do and unlike me, youll be doing it alone.

  16. Your lecture has failed to move me. Try harder.
    No notch loss bish

  17. Maia

    Shit. At least we aren’t baking ugly ass birthday cakes with dog hair in them.

    • Vicki Vallencourt

      when her brother specifically asked for cupcakes for the 3 year olds at the party. not some fondant and plastic toy mess “lion king” cake

  18. Maia

    Hi Tiffany or any other hoe who has been blasted!!! I don’t imagine you’ll be alive when you’re 54, low self-esteem and all.

  19. ZWGGMa

    hope she comes back.. I’m making popcorn.. and a splash guard. I love to watch you slice and dice…

  20. Maia

    Awww. A troll.

    • Mzzy Rivy

      I bet you are good at eating tacos. Should try a flauta with it!

      • JimU113

        There’s one time at food camp, she stuck a flauta in her pussy. Couldn’t feel a thing.

        • Unbelievable

          And it was never to be found again

          • JimU113

            And that’s reason #37 I won’t have sex with her.

            (There’s a bajillion reasons, of course)

    • Mzzy Rivy

      It’s called Ho cat call…..

    • Habib Fazil

      I’m confused. Is she trolling for a meal or advertising she’s into Chix??

    • Mzzy Rivy

      I can do that too! Yeeehay!

    • Mzzy Rivy

      She’s drunk

    • My lord shes in loungewear…again with the pjs?? I can just picture the staff there with their own
      TEEF BINGO cards. “Cloak n Pimp Cane” is the only square left for the night shift

      • Meth cab for Booty

        I don’t think theres staff I’m fairly certain its just the apartment building free gym, I don’t see Teefs paying for a membership

    • The Beav

      Those pants are way too long for running! She might trip, fall and break a toof! Seriously though, who runs in yoga pants?

      • Meth cab for Booty

        There’s no way she runs, she just walks fast.

        • JimU113

          Hell, I could outwalk with my bum knee and not being anywhere near “in shape”.

      • El Hijo De Fistfight

        They have to be long to cover the fact she practicing running in heels.

    • RAE_KWON

      No matter how hard she works out, she never loses weight in her jowls…. She’s been hanging out with only her dogs lately, she’s starting to look like them. Hashtag WELP

  21. And bottomless.
    Bring eyebleach

  22. Not before she licks her hand and blasts herself off.

  23. Ms Conduct

    Yes! I liked playing the Wonder Woman slot machine and it plays that song a lot. Don’t usually like slots but, I was killing time and won $482.

  24. chris

    I can honestly say I’ve never seen a person so desperate for attention. It’s truly mind-boggling.

    • smugjew

      Desperate for a boyfriend really. And she thinks her awkward oversharing on Facebook is supposed to help achieve that because it shows how “real” she is. Guys know a woman’s crazy will slowly seep out over time. So if you’re coming out of the gate completely batshit cray it doesn’t leave a lot of headroom.

      And not just any boyfriend will do. Either a world-famous rockstar or Fortune 500 CEO.

      Because that’s what people who’ve reached that status in their professional careers want: A psychotic tub of dogshit fueled by cake mix and Rumplemints who looks 20 years older than their actual age, hooks on the side, performs sex acts for the crew members of metal bands, and loses their phone twice a month.

      I’m surprised James Hetfield or Richard Branson haven’t already proposed. But what do I know about love.

      • chris

        I’m fuckin dying here! Love it! You forgot to mention Wolcott!

  25. Observer

    WTF??

    Next she will be wearing this shit to shows.

    • El Hijo De Fistfight

      I could see her yanking on a pair of white mom shorts over it yeah.

  26. I do feel safer in mine, seriously. But its for my back and shit. I have scoliosis.

  27. Stelio Kontos

    Seriously, you don’t have to take Statistics 101 to figure out a lot of her “followers” aren’t actually following.

    • nancy young

      When your thirst trap photos are only getting 1% of your followers to like them, it’s time to quench your thirsty ass with humble water and give the fuck up. Save those photos for SA.

  28. Stelio Kontos

    Ok, Lynda Carter (along with Pam Grier) was my first crush. Gal Gadot is mesmerizing as Wonder Woman as it is killing in theaters right now.
    Why, in the name of all that is thirsty, would she even attempt to go there? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/213db5b3002643f6fcb82246be83ecae57c50d1a37ac7360f9ff1d6a142a5ac5.jpg

  29. Digitus impudicus

    When you need another attention fix so badly, you go to a gym and take ugly selfies instead of exercising.

  30. Digitus impudicus

    Hate to break it to her but I will be 51 in 2 weeks, and I bodybuild and look much more in athletic shape than her. Plus, my boobs are a real c-cup, proportioned. Let’s see how she looks in 17 years.

    • Im old as fuck and she looks like that crazy old auntie everyone has somewhere. Not lying i did some pics on insta when i realized i was lookin quite ok for my age and was excited about it. But guess what? It got boring and i moved on. Teef is legt 20 years younger than me theres no excuse for this pathetic attempt at fitness. Dumb cunt.
      *no shame, proof below

        • Digitus impudicus

          My dear D3, you are absolutely beautiful. And you are smart, funny and hearty! Blessings…

        • Vicki Vallencourt

          very nice figure! and gorgeous face. hashtag winning

          • Thank you! Im as averagely thirsty as the next guy…but we know Teef reads every word we say and after seeing Blunder Woman i feel the need to step in and keep it real. Maybe she has never succeeded at anything but i want to assure her that there is no escape if she doesnt stop fronting and the fact that im old enough to be her mother and in better shape might wake her up. But i WORK at it. Not crazy exercise addiction…i make exercise a joy for mysekf and my soul. That blunder woman pic legit made me feel real freakin tears well up. So so sad. It got me in the damn feels. Life is short, Teef. Love yourself- accept your flaws and improve the ones that you cant live with. See a therapist. Please

          • Vicki Vallencourt

            nothing happens over night. i can relate to her a lot with the hair sitch… i was bulimic since 15 ish and have struggled with thin hair. its a sign of poor health, adding extensions distracts from that but doesn’t solve the problem. my teeth never got bad like hers but the smell of bulimia breath is awful. plus the racing heart beats and chest pains… its not glamorous being sick like her.

          • My hair sucks too now. There is no problem with adding somr hair to yourself. I look great with updo and its not happening without help- but when its like your clown suit and you are unhygenic about it becausr u cant live witb your natural self there is a goddam problem here. Im all for making yoursekf beautiful but she is making herself a spectacle and she is doomef if she doesnt figure out that what she lacks isn’t for sale and the only person who can give it to her is herself

          • Vicki Vallencourt

            exactly

          • Its like those chicken cutlet things. I have a pair somewhere- theyrr really expensibe and these girls i was joking w whilst bartending were laughing about them like embarrased she had a set so i wanted them…the real deal ones can make an otherwise meh dress look fantastic so i said id totally stick them down my shirt on the spot. My boobies are fairly large 36d but go up and down to a 38 c – mind you this was a little snall town bar- it was a riot every guy who came in was like “you look happy today!” And no lie they didnt know why they were saying it one asked “haircut?” Lolol!

          • Vicki Vallencourt

            lmao! i love it.

          • So it was funny, and why we wear padded bras or pushups or even fucking bras in the first place…so what level of dysfunction drives a girl to circus tits? Damn

          • Vicki Vallencourt

            daily routines and small changes towards health

          • That IS how it happens. In such tiny increments..you either choose to flow that way or fight her way- she wants everything now and in essentially throwing a life long hissy fit she ironically has lost time

          • Vicki Vallencourt

            yeah i agree. and the changes look like they are coming from a place of self hate instead of self preservation because of how cheap and hurried they come across

          • I guarantee if she came on here and was willing to take honest advice which would include an overhaul of her personality and lack of defensiveness most of us would genuinely want to help her and for her to change her life for the better.
            Or we would make “kayla” accounts and ‘keep it real’ like your average cuntfaced hypocrite

          • Vicki Vallencourt

            i agree. she’s a human being the stuff i know I’ve said in the past is in jest or edging towards hurtful but it does come from a place of understanding and wishing she would give up the act and live her best life.

          • Vicki Vallencourt

            the fake accounts are so weak.

          • prettyfeet

            All great suggestions, if only she would take them to heart. Looking good DDD!

        • chris

          strong!

    • Tuco

      You need to give Tiff some tips on posing.

  31. MBKtheWriter

    This is some shit you put on between 1-3am.

  32. MBKtheWriter

    Ummm…just… no. Does she even try to lie sensibly? Ladies/gentlemen would you choose to sleep in this ensemble? Nothing like climbing into soft bed linens (I’m calling leopard print) wearing pro-wrestling Spanx or whatever in gods name this is.

    • El Hijo De Fistfight

      If not leopard, pink & black zebra print.

    • Vicki Vallencourt

      addicted to yeast infections… that fabric cannot be vag healthy

      • Elise

        Yeah, I highly doubt she has ever been concerned with the health of her vag.

  33. El Hijo De Fistfight

    Who had inspirational meme on a Thursday in the Teef’s Bingo Card?

  34. El Hijo De Fistfight

    in case you wanted to see the Wonder Woman movie…………..nope.

  35. Scorpio

    Why, thank you.

  36. Scorpio

    Coincidentally, I have performed a duet of another song, me singing the part of Elton John, on stage in front of an audience. True story.

  37. smugjew

    Trying to sell her lunchlady arms as “guns.” Sigh.

  38. Sammi Jo

    Wonder Wig

    • Ms Conduct

      WONDER WHO-RE
      She wonders where she’s at or wonders who’s she meeting. Good thing she doesn’t have to wonder, if her eyebrows are still there…anymore.
      WONDER WHO-RE

      • Vicki Vallencourt

        wondering if she will get away with whor-dering the steak
        and 6 cocktaisl
        and a “night cap”

  39. El Hijo De Fistfight

    On Wednesday’s we go to work and save for a future.

  40. Darlene Conner

    Her hair without the extensions is a thin, fine, mullet. I don’t know how a person can have brown hair that dry/unhealthy. It must be from starving yourself for years.

  41. Habib Fazil

    Nothing lower than the booth attendant at the peep shows… nothing

  42. When i waited tables we got 3.25 an hour in the 80s and 90s.

  43. Shouldn’t she be taking her dogs outside instead of picking up poop off astroturf in her struggle digs with her drunken bare hands? Those dogs prob never go outside. In fact seems odd she hssnt mentioned them in so long i bet they wound up cannibalizing each other while she stuffed her face with nutsacks and olives

  44. Mzzy Rivy

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bd5893cca430f177309be7ca8c51abdaf611f2d7dc3b239f7649c40b63371f2f.png

    Bitch – u r 34… you still have time to work that ass-flap before you turn 45. And stop posing the suck-in look. You look aweful per the ZW Nation and the rest of the world. At least blur your face!

  45. Mzzy Rivy

    Like Ivan can give a shit about you. Stalker! You can’t even hold a tampon cuz you are too drunk and loose down there. He tried maybe once and his big Dick was sliding into a jelly jar. Dam – you are psycho!

    • How do you know its big? Hmmm?

    • Mzzy Rivy

      She mentioned it on IG but deleted it before I could snap it. She said first “oh wow – humongous” and four hours later she said he was a teeny weeny like an oscar Myers hot dog – and that their relationship was over because he went psycho on her. I wish I could have snapped the IG.

      • AmericanTopTeam

        Every girl who gets dumped= he had a tiny dick

        Every guy who gets dumped= her vag was HUGE

        Then you graduate middle school

  46. Unbelievable

    How can any kid in that complex be allowed to enjoy the pool with that skank laying by it with her cellulite ridden ass and circus tits hanging out.

  47. Luke Duke

    Gross…fucking gross!

  48. Tuco

    I prefer the real no matter how damaged

  49. El Hijo De Fistfight

    How the fuck can someone charge $600 for a goddamn t shirt.

  50. El Hijo De Fistfight

    He looks like the Undertaker does NOW, and Taker is like 52.

  51. El Hijo De Fistfight

    You aren’t fooling anyone by arching your leg like that to make your calf pop, you stand up straight and them thighs rub.

  52. El Hijo De Fistfight

    Wow, I can’t describe her entire bottom half but the word that keeps coming to mind is “lumpy”.

    • El Hijo De Fistfight

      Someone needs to comment and tell her to get a fucking job instead of getting drunk on Four Loko by the pool all day.

    • Mzzy Rivy

      Who in the hell would think that is gorgeous???

      • El Hijo De Fistfight

        Randy, same dude who included both of her fucking Instagram handles in his comment to ensure she saw him.

      • She has an ass like hank hill

        • Mzzy Rivy

          I could not even draw her anatomy if I was a medical bio artist…ugh

        • Mzzy Rivy

          Unbelievable! Aweful!

        • MBKtheWriter

          “No biggie! I’ll just spend the next week searching Amazon for swimsuits under $25.”

          • Shes such a fucking liar…she wont even divulge info to help a bitch who COMPLIMENTED her. She totally thinks shes doing shit smarter than anyone else- face looks shitty? Jack it and tat it…I win! No bitch, you lose. The booze and bullshit are kicking your seriously deluded asz

          • MBKtheWriter

            That chick was nice about it, I would’ve been disgusted. Just LOOK at the tag. Unbelievably difficult

        • El Hijo De Fistfight

          “No idea, it came from China with no tags used on eBay.”

        • El Hijo De Fistfight

          Who the fuck spends $150 on a goddamn swimsuit? I would have a large issue with that if was John. I bet she meant to say A John.

          • Unbelievable

            I’ve spent more than that, that’s nothing compared to all my Louis Vuitton’s. But then again I have the income to be able to sustain my lifestyle. If I want something I save the money and pay cash for it.

          • El Hijo De Fistfight

            I mean, I’m not Jewish but my wallet is. The thing I spend the most on is my way too large collection of t shirts because I dress like I’m half my age.

          • Maia

            Me too! I buy a t-shirt from every city I visit!!

          • Texas Darling

            Sadly if you want a quality swimsuit that won’t fall apart or be see through, you have to dish out the money now. My swimsuits were all around $250. But I bought them all (all 62 of them) myself over the years!

          • El Hijo De Fistfight

            I like when my natural cock bulge shows after I get out of the pool.

          • Absolutely normal figure to spend on a good swim suit. Salt and chlorine are tough on fabrics – gotta get quality!

          • El Hijo De Fistfight

            Like this whore has a problem with salt on her clothing.

          • Penny Lane

            I as sure as hell wouldn’t.

          • Maia

            I like Land’s End, myself, but I digress.

          • I swim as often as possible and could NOT find a fucking bathing suit anywhere last winter so i ordered one from Macys its a ralph lauren that was marked waaayy down and that bish still looks brand new- i treat it like shit too- rolled up in a fucking ball aftef and other atrocities – very well made!

          • Maia

            I wish I could get a normal suit. After the skin cancer on my forearm, I need a American Cancer Society-approved swim shirt. This way, I can still jump off the boat and not worry about the sun. Not sexy, but effective! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/83bafab754fff49839a7af2f352c9e4ca385841a9c265cf956ba3023f29714af.png

          • I wear compression clothes a lot because …oh dont even ask its a long boring medical thing – i call them “thundershirts” lol

          • AmericanTopTeam

            Good lord girl how tall are you??

          • Maia

            5’9! I’m not taking any chances with the sun!! Tall sizes all the way! 5’9, 125.

          • Whoa your a skinny minnie! I shrank a whole inch over the years i just found out so im 5’8 and weigh a solid and unchangable 135- though the boobs are spectacular at 140. Since im layin it ll out on here today, Teef, see hoe this shit is done? You put in actual work and reap rewards. No squeezing into retarded costumes and giving yourself a fucking charlie horse in a mirror 40 feet away. You make evert effort to gain satisfaction and validation from yourself, not famous cock or facebook likes. You have no need for the pity you try to use as attention bait when all other fails- you never ‘fail’ bevause you dont need the valudation of anyone but yourself. You dont have a problem with being your age or your sizs or single. You dont care whst a scale says you care what YOU say. Take off the wig and do some yoga flow or some shit. Dont piss on yourself bc youre thirsty my god

          • Maia

            Hear, Hear!! When women put their own happiness first, they’re a lot happier. No need for all that makeup, either. Work on your inside. If you are positive, you attract positive. Imagine how much happier Tiffany would be if she accepted herself. She needs to stop trying to be exceptional. I’m not exceptional. I don’t wear eye makeup, ever, never have. If I have to change who I am for someone, there’s the fucking door. These IG whores need to stop fronting.

          • I gave zero fucks what anyone thought about me but not gonna lie i woke up and was old- it scared the shit out of me and instead of seeking phony validation i went to work. The thing that disturbs me most now that i have firm and realistic control over the things I can change and maintain is that i can literslly see where every stress and disappointment in my life has changed my face and i dont likr looking unhappy so i do facial exercisez and stuff and focus on feeling happy and grateful bc when you are, it shows. Resting bitch face is inevitable though. I think about these young women using fillers and botox like status symbols – no bitch using them in your thirties is like wearing an old mans hernia truss. Theyre tools, plain and simple and i for one will be trying them when i can afford to. But in my 30s? Lol i never wore makeup!

          • Maia

            The one wrinkle I’m getting rid of is the tiny one between my eyes.

          • I mean whats to like if youre already hating your own face in your thirties? Bitch better get right soon bc by my age shell be taking a hatchet to herself

          • Maia

            No shit! Fat asshole Ashley Alexiss has had at least 4 rounds of botox, and she’s 26.

          • Its fucking stupid at that age. I tried botox and it really like made my eyes feel open and less tired but i was always fighting witj my own face bc im a scowler and lift one eyebrow when bullshit is afoot and it waa like wrestling bc your eyebrows dont fucking move.

          • Maia

            The wrinkles on my forehead are staying. Fuck that frozen face.

          • Not that theres a damn thing wrong witj makeup. I like it, it just likes you less and less as you get older.

          • AmericanTopTeam

            Awesome good for you!

          • Maia

            I also run or walk a minimum of 5 miles a day. If the weather is shit, I find an enclosed mall.

          • AmericanTopTeam

            It def shows good for you…im jaded to where i expect everyone on the computer to be a slob always love it when im wrong

          • Maia

            I’m on my phone, but I know what you mean!

          • Digitus impudicus

            Magnificent Maia! Xoxo, hon .

          • prettyfeet

            Damn girl…i need one of these! So tired of sunscreen.

          • Maia

            Land’s End sells a bunch of these!

  53. AmericanTopTeam

    Her real hair is waaay better than i imagined…why wear that squirrel nest on her head

    • Darlene Conner

      Whaaaaaaaat? I cringe thinking about what you must have been expecting. It is exactly as dry and mullety as I was expecting.

  54. He looks like the kind of bitchass who orders complicated shit at Starbucks and throws a hissy fit that its wrong every fucking day

  55. Oh my fucking god. She is literally flexing her entire foot. Why be a tryhard when you can be a total tard?

  56. Scorpio

    To be more detailed, they are not really that nice for my taste. However, they are nice for her. I gotta give props to a woman of her age rockin’ some big ol’ titties like that. By the way, I am glad to know I was among the first of your thoughts. .,,,,)

  57. Habib Fazil

    you just can’t help but be impressed, no?

    • Meth cab for Booty

      That head, to me, is an improvement.

      • Habib Fazil

        She should try going with the bare minimum of make up…

    • AmericanTopTeam

      I think she looks better like this

      • Maia

        It’s just so different from the gross makeup and dirty extensions. She should stick to natural.

      • Add a bath and a lobotomy and shes almost human!

      • Digitus impudicus

        Me too.

      • Shikaka

        I agree with the statement that she looks better like this than her regular clown makeup look. It’s just her face expression, like an autistic baboon, makes her look bad. She looks like she can only produce dolphin noises and screeches. (Which probably would be better than all the vile shit coming out of her mouth daily though)

    • Digitus impudicus

      Actually, quite pretty. Why can’t she see that the filthy struggle wig and warpaint detract?

      • Tuco

        She has huge potential. Looks wise. Can’t fix the mindset.

      • Her eyebrows are hovering so far above the glabellae theyre like perpetually surprised. I think the famous brow lady was planning for the eventual facial collapse from shit running out her mouf all the time

  58. Habib Fazil

    some of your handi work m’dear?

  59. Jabberwocky

    What. The. Actual. Fuck.

  60. Unbelievable

    What is up with that bathing suit? Did she get a deal for buying them in bulk? So cheap looking. Perfect for her

    • El Hijo De Fistfight

      Nope just wearing it over and over and over and over.

    • Vicki Vallencourt

      she used her degree in mandarin to score a sweet deal

    • CruelToBeKind

      pretty sure she got them in Costa Rica when she was getting her teeth done. I think the style is very unflattering, but she must disagree because she bought multiple suits in this same style :/ I really do think she would be so pretty if she didn’t Peg Bundy herself

  61. LostWithoutVirgil

    Or an acid bath

  62. Mzzy Rivy

    That shows her self worth.

  63. TJ

    I’d have to think long and hard about that.

  64. Penny Lane

    I’m a Jason girl! I have never thought Ivan was attractive. Why does Tiff always “pick” the ugly band members? lol. Oh and I have heard from multiple people that Ivan is the biggest douchebag.

    • Digitus impudicus

      Why is a 30-something woman still chasing random music dudes and thinking it’s all impressive?

      • El Hijo De Fistfight

        Should be chasing dudes with a 401k.

        • Digitus impudicus

          They would cross the street to avoid her, but random music dudes like this may take the free crotch and blowie.

          • El Hijo De Fistfight

            Dudes with 401ks wouldn’t even cheat on their wives with her.

          • Luke Duke

            I wouldn’t and I’ve been on the couch for 6 months! Fucking truth.

    • Queen Bee

      I’m pretty sure this is a universally confirmed thing

    • Jabberwocky

      Like she had any choice in the matter. He was just the one who went for the bait she was trolling.

      There are rockstars that are a trophy to nail, and then there are the sluts everyone fucks. Except Tiffany – she claims to “date” them. She can’t even groupie right.

    • Observer

      Me too… oh me too….. Hello Jason.
      Any time I’ve been around Ivan, he’s been nothing but nice to me, but he was screwing a friend of mine…sooooo…

      • Digitus impudicus

        So, what is it you do with these guys again? Sorry I forgot!

        • Observer

          I don’t do a damn thing.
          My bf works in the music industry.

          My friend met Ivan at a Steel Panther show here in Denver. We were all drinking at a bar after the show.

          • Digitus impudicus

            Oh. Your boyfriend. Listen, you saying you “don’t do a damn thing” is really odd. Heres why: you have come across in your comments like you had a professional position in the Denver concert business.

          • Observer

            I know many people in it. And I also know more than my share of musicians and road guys.

            It’s a small circle. People talk.

          • Digitus impudicus

            Lol, true dat. People can’t shut up! Now, I made my comment because I feel and believe you most certainly are an important position in the live rock music sector. For example: you know and trust many techs, right? You could coordinate a sudden charity live show! If you want. If so, girl, I am your lead cheerleader. If not, just be happy and healthy. And promise to always give Teef reports, Lol!

          • Observer

            I will always report my Circus Tits knowledge. The world needs to know.

            I probably put together an event.. Would I want to? That’s a different story.

          • Digitus impudicus

            PS: I am a rock elder, lol. A brunette Stevie Nicks rock gypsy, soon to be 51. I had my time in major rock and roll for about 8 years as a writer and coordinator of live event talent. So please, hon, take my words as encouragement and positive. Xo

    • chris

      From what I just listened to on Eddie Trunk – he’s a bit batshit crazy himself and there is real concern over him and his mental well-being. Throw Teef in the mix and it makes perfect sense as to the connection.

  65. Digitus impudicus

    Yuck! I would rather have sex with a rutabega!

  66. Digitus impudicus

    … and she looks like diarrhea.

  67. Digitus impudicus

    What’s worse for her ego is many people have no clue who this guy or his band is. He ain’t no Hetfield!

    • OCgirl12

      Omg right tho !??? She’s SO retarded !!! No major name would touch her anyhow !!!

    • Queen Bee

      Exactly! This is nothing to brag about! He looks like an angry meth head!

  68. OCgirl12

    So grossssss lol

  69. CruelToBeKind

    for the love of everything sacred, PLEEEAAASE stop calling Ivan Moody your ex! He was never your boyfriend, you did not date, stop! Even if it were true, that is not something to brag about or be proud of – it makes you look like a delusional and desperate psycho every time you mention him! Move on to another victim already https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/fda64a4f89f088334be76ae77f91ff55d226796c585636073ddf57cf8e7046e0.jpg

  70. Whitney BeatMe

    No teef!! Stay off social media. Piss all over your old employers potential new ones see that and pass-the tits prolly do work in her favor if she paints the veins with coverup, but that shit lands your resume in the garbage. Maybe she will find it later while rummaging for rats to feed her wig, and save herself fifty cents reprinting it. Win win.

  71. Mike Hunt

    You know who doesn’t have to work for below minimum wage on a patio? 34 year olds who got their shit together and don’t drink themselves into a drunken stupor daily.

    • Jabberwocky

      Anyone with decent communication skills and the ability to fire up Word, and use a phone, can find work through temp agencies at decent wages. But you can’t show up in hooker hair, painted on eyebrows, and “stripper secretary” clothes, like she would. I’ve worked in companies that had complete idiots work there for months, as long as they did the work and didn’t cause problems, and make 20, 25 an hour. Plus you get benefits from some agencies.

      She’s in for a rude, rude awakening if she ever graduates, and tries to put that diploma to work. Companies do social media searches routinely now (as well as drug testing), and she’s never going to get past the first round of applicants, unless she starts scrubbing every part of her life no with bleach and steel wool. If she walks in the door now, she’s a sexual assault/harrassment lawsuit waiting to happen, in the eyes of HR.

      • El Hijo De Fistfight

        Oh she would LOVE the attention a sexual harassment suit would bring. It would completely validate her entire existence.

  72. Digitus impudicus

    It’s Struggle Metallica!

  73. Kay More

    Meh, get a job indoors. Pretty easy solution to her problem with or without a degree.

  74. Scorpio

    I wish her the best. Well, maybe not the best, but decent.

  75. Queen Bee

    Hoooooly shit. I thought you were kidding until I googled for myself!

  76. The_Truth_Hurts2012

    Not the type that want to sit out in the sun on a 98 Degree day….

  77. LostWithoutVirgil

    I will even compromise and I would let her keep the wig if she leaves the orange zest alone

  78. The Beav

    So it’s too hot to work, but she wears knee high boots to an outdoor concert? Sounds logical…also I own a white dog that sheds like a mutha…I also wear lots of black and I am never covered in dog hair. It’s just gross.

  79. Habib Fazil

    Greek, French, Russian to name a few…

  80. Maia

    1000 upvotes for bingo bouffant!!!!

  81. Habib Fazil

    I’d vote for complete make over/rebuild

    Step 1 is detox, step 2 is proper medication, step 3 is flagging the social media crap

    Followed with a total Mr clean head shaving for starters. Give that scalp some proper tlc.

    Sand blast the face, get all that excess make up off of her,ns kind needs to breathe

    And get some clothing the sorta hides the girls, after all she IS working for tips

    • Luke Duke

      Step 1 put round in chamber.
      Step 2 aim center mass.
      Step 3 squeeze trigger slowly.

  82. miss piglet

    BNB…….Bingo Night Bouffant

    Sammi Jo, you are a true wordsmith!

  83. Tuco Salamanca

    Is she even still going to school? Correction…has she ever attended school or is that all bullshit?

    • Unityyy

      I’m calling b.s. She may have taken some classes, but I’m not believing that she’s anywhere near graduating

      • Tuco Salamanca

        I agree. Even if she is going to school I don’t think she’ll ever graduate. Also, this bitch should not be in the business of hospitality. She is too miserable and has a shitty personality. The only time she is hospitable is when she’s turnin tricks and suckin dicks.

    • Elise

      Admissions info isn’t private or protected. All you have to do is call the admissions office and ask about her course load pretending to be her employer wanting to verify her class schedule. ****good idea for another post – the insta-hoe degree!

  84. LostWithoutVirgil

    … I bet she clips cooooopins.

  85. CruelToBeKind

    Tiffani Thiessen was in People mag recently, and I could not help but think she looked just like Tiffany would look if she tamed down the hair, makeup, and cleavage. Kind of a suburban look, but not even Kelly Kapowski can be Kelly Kapowski forever … https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/afb54e06cbb1ce26dfb504c751edc6f724d6bf55a38b870f737ef46c00f2df16.jpg

    • Sammi Jo

      Agree.

    • Digitus impudicus

      I still cringe when I hear that stupid-ass name, “Kelly Kapowski.” Seriously? Same shitstain who came up with the equally gagworthy “Lisa Turtle.” WTF?

      Anyway, yeah, boht these Tiffs have the fat face thing going on.

    • Darlene Conner

      I just said that I thought they reminded me of each other. Only the real famous Tiffany is like this one if she never found crack.

  86. Queen Bee

    Total transformation Tiff…not. Try not standing on one leg and popping your butt out next time you want to show us your gym gainz. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7d2f661cacec6c0744f8f8467222f08fba17ed4ffc529fa8024d3284ac732f83.png

    • El Hijo De Fistfight

      I see absolutely zero difference except one photo is blurrier than the others.

      • Unbelievable

        The middle one is an old pic she previously posted. Notice her lack of eyebrows (which two weeks ago she had microbladed or whatever on)

    • Mzzy Rivy

      Exactly. You nailed it Queen!

    • Habib Fazil

      I suspect a social media check on our recruit turned up ole teef and “poof” went his application, straight to the shredder…

    • Meth cab for Booty

      If this guy doesn’t know about teef’s shenanigans he is very literally going to be the worst cop

    • Texas Darling

      Police departments are literally BEGGING for new recruits. How did he not get hired on?????

  87. Unbelievable

    She must be a crappy server as when I want to pick up extra cash, I can work at a steakhouse downtown. Guaranteed $500.00, at least, a shift. Then again it’s where all the Chicago Blackhawks and all other who’s who likes to hang (and I’ve got 10+ years on her)

    • Sammi Jo

      Yep, I think it really depends on location, venue, customers….annndd service.
      I have mad respect for people in that industry. I don’t think I’d last a day!

      • Unbelievable

        You definitely have to be a people person, and that she is not. People can read through phoniness.

        • Luke Duke

          As a life rule I’m never rude to servers and I always tip. If I ever ended up with Teef as a server all that would be out the window!

    • Texas Darling

      She could never work at a steakhouse. Where else would she be able to go to meet her johns??

  88. miss piglet

    Multiple language skills doesn’t include successfully ordering off the Taco Bell drive through menu at 3am!

  89. miss piglet

    She needs to actively comb out that wig!

  90. LostWithoutVirgil

    50 points for making me blow tea and throw up a horror face in the middle of a meeting.

    Had to lie and say someone hit my dog so I could step outside and reply!

  91. Mzzy Rivy

    34 years old and her only employment option is slave-tressing and getting bitched out by a manager who is probably 29! Hell naw!

  92. TheSuburbanErrorist

    $6.26 an hour??? For real?? Omfg

    • Penny Lane

      servers here get paid half of that per hour. They make their money off tips.

  93. Her “platform” tits are like a soap dish for dicks.

  94. TJ

    I went to Vegas for the weekend and had an epiphany about my future. I’m going to open a bar and hire Tiffany and Trisha Evans as bartenders and Sharkey and Vegas Dave as bouncers. I’ll probably name it the Queen of Tarts. Who will being coming out to Vegas for the grand opening?

    • LostWithoutVirgil

      If you do this. I would volunteer to be a shift manager. 5 years law enforcement experience and FEMA certifications. I mean a shit show like that would need to be able to handle mass hysteria..

    • miss piglet

      Did you roll down to the Clark County Jail and put some money on Sharkey’s books??

      • TJ

        Sadly, I couldn’t find it. But I did place flowers at that spot on the sidewalk that doubled as Sharkey’s office.

    • Unityyy

      Now, this is a shit show I would never turn down.

    • TJ. You open the bar. I commit to writing graffiti in the bathroom stalls….basically ZWNation daily updates on all these crazy fucks.

    • You need stripper poles and contests. I wanna be the emcee!

      “Lets get ready to bumble! On our right we have Tricia “dead tooth” Evans…dickwacker handjobber…watch out for that canyon cunnn…” thats funny…where the fuck did the contestant go?

    • Stelio Kontos

      Build it, I will be there on one condition. You have to have a “Beta Only” VIP section.
      I would pay any amount of money for a spot at the bar watching the bottle service crowd box each other out for a Vodka / Soda, while the Beta Team enjoys the best night of their life.

  95. Lame Equis

    I feel bad for her 🙁 I mean she really has no chance at life. She’s ruined it.

    • Maia

      She can start by deleting her social media, admitting she’s led a lousy lifestyle, and begin volunteering somewhere.

      • smugjew

        If she stopped posting all this dumb shit on Facebook there would be no more ZW stories. It’s that simple.

        But she can’t stop. Total addiction to social media.

        • Unityyy

          Right. She can’t stop. Negative attention is still attention.

        • Digitus impudicus

          Because beta love validates her very existence and her warped, twisted “sexy” self-image.

      • El Hijo De Fistfight

        Maybe attempt to start over in a new town where she hasn’t burned everyone.

        • smugjew

          She plans to move to Dallas after finishing her worthless degree in Denver.

          • El Hijo De Fistfight

            Absolutely perfect. Makes complete sense because she’s trending towards an anchor baby with Juan.

        • Persephone

          You’d think, but she now has a reputation that spans the globe

          • El Hijo De Fistfight

            Well I mean it would include scrubbing her social media pages off the internet so it’s never going to happen of course.

          • Habib Fazil

            Man, would that be a project!

        • Stelio Kontos

          She needs to go somewhere and be humbled. Out west, there is an assortment of looks. She believes she “fits in” with the hot women her age.
          If she moved to Dallas or anywhere in the southeast, she find out real quick where she stands on the totem pole of hotness.

          • Fairly Local

            What the hell man? Don’t be trying to send that chick out here.

          • Penny Lane

            hey now.. no bashing women from the southeast!

          • Stelio Kontos

            No quite the contrary, I was saying Tiff couldn’t find a place to fit in from Dallas to Savannah. Women down south tend to be legit, homegrown hot. Tiff would stick out like a sore thumb

          • Maia

            I’m thinking the backwoods of North Carolina.

          • Unbelievable

            Local trailer park, she’ll fit right in

          • Luke Duke

            Florida. A trailer park in Florida.

          • Unbelievable

            Don’t have her ass come here to Chicago, she’ll be torn apart. Plus she couldn’t afford the rent downtown (and you know that’s where she’d want to live). It’s, at least, three times Colorados

          • Penny Lane

            I liked Chicago when I visited, but I can’t live where it snows so much. I can’t wait to go back and visit and get some of that pizza! Chicago pizza > NYC pizza

          • Unbelievable

            Back in 95 I was paying $2500.00 a month for an apartment right in the Gold Coast. Now it goes for about $12,000.00

          • Darlene Conner

            Yes but the area is fantastic!

          • Darlene Conner

            I live in PA so there is snow every year. I would love to live in a big city. It made me realize how restless and unfulfilled I am currently.

          • Darlene Conner

            I was just in Chicago for my sisters wedding. It was one of the best hotel experiences that I have had. I stayed in the Hotel Indigo on Dearborn. Gold Coast or whatever. The centralized location was ideal and the neighborhood was beautiful. I would love to live there and eat at the little enoteca down the street everyday.

      • Seeing a therapist would be a critical step. Actually desiring insight into her behavior is probably impossible tho

        • Maia

          I’ve heard there’s not much that can be done with borderline personality disorder.

          • Persephone

            I think it is the worst of all.

          • ZWGGMa

            BPD generally does not remit without psychiatric help, and unfortunately, BPDs are the least likely to seek it and then stick with it. DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) is very successful for the less than 30% or so that get it and do it.

          • Maia

            Would you say she has BPD?

          • ZWGGMa

            Criteria for diagnosis – 5 of the following.
            I really don’t know the woman, but damn…..

            1 – frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.

            2 – a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.

            3 – identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.

            4 – impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g. spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating). This does not include suicidal or self-harming behavior.

            5 – recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior.

            6 – affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood – intense feelings that can last from a few hours to a few days.

            7 – chronic feelings of emptiness.

            8 – inappropriate intense anger or difficulty controlling anger.

            9 – transient, stress-related paranoid ideas or severe dissociative symptoms.

          • Maia

            We have a winner!

          • The_Truth_Hurts2012

            cross the border and embrace it?

          • Luke Duke

            You’re correct.

        • The_Truth_Hurts2012

          I figured Teefs the type who’d want to get paid for standing around and getting a tan.
          who’d of thunk it?

    • LostWithoutVirgil

      As I said before, a bac attachment on her cell, a comb, a lint roller, a loofah and some cocoa butter would change her life.

    • The_Truth_Hurts2012

      no good referral from that boss.

    • Luke Duke

      Nah there’s some basement dwellers out there that would wife her up just for the tits.

  96. Unbelievable

    She had to have had looked like a hot mess after that shift

    • Tuco Salamanca

      Ugh her thick foundation was probably caking and smearing all over her putrid face.

  97. Its clit oclock Teef!!

    • Digitus impudicus

      With this whore, every second is clit-o-clock! 🙂

  98. Sammi Jo

    Also, notice she’s holdin’ free “swag”

    I’m not hatin’ on the “VIP ticket perks”…by all means. But, don’t front.

    • Maia

      Hahaha!!!!!

    • chris

      Crying D.D.D….absolute GOLD!

    • Ms Conduct

      Yep, it’s definitely her in 5-7. Now I’m watching all of the videos, lmao. Didn’t she gripe about this recently too?
      https://youtu.be/kyGBkseCQFI

      • Persephone

        Aw man she’s disgusting!!

      • Vivian

        I can’t…had to turn her off after 20 seconds.

        • MeowMing

          Don’t worry I have the highlights

          ‘The trailer park was having a party and they invited me over’

          ‘You know when you’re drunk sometimes and you wet or you shit and you don’t even know you’ve done it?’

          ‘I just spent my 40$ that I had saved up, 10$ a week […] How am I supposed to pay my light bill?!’

      • The_Truth_Hurts2012

        reminds me of an episode of shameless.

      • Scorpio

        Is she doing a character? I gotta respect those titties, tho. .,,,,)

    • Persephone

      HAH!! Speechless

    • Habib Fazil

      Hmm, so no product endorsement on qctv eh?

  99. Elise

    Next stop on the never-ending conveyor belt of tits-for-tips jobs: The Bunny Ranch.

  100. Maia

    It’s too hot for a celebrity who, just last night, held a fucking guitar, for fuck’s sake.

    • Mzzy Rivy

      She was too hungover for the heat and damaged by the sex toy act to stand for at least an hour.

      • The_Truth_Hurts2012

        Maybe she was worried about her hair getting sun damage……LOL

  101. ZWGGMa

    I think I love Teefs almost as much as Sharkey… Thank you Teefs, for stepping up (down) to fill a void… or void a fill.. or whatever…

    You keep being you Teefs…. We will keep watching…

  102. Unityyy

    Tiff is getting to the point where she won’t find any gigs in Denver. She just can’t keep her pie hole shut for two seconds. Hate your job? Fine. Quit and STFU. Her degree will be useless. This dipshit doesn’t have one iota of professionalism in her body. A two second Google search will leave any potential employers running for the hills.

    • I did the patio gig many times in my lifetime. The next day its raining and because you stuck it out with your piehole shut you get rotated inside and rake it in. Everybody working at a place with a patio knows you will be fucked occasionally, and the new guy? Sheeeiittt yes you on patio bish.
      If Teef was a pleasant human being im pretty sure the other person assigned to the patio would have tried to reassure her. I picture a sweating server rolling silver saying “whine one more time and this fork goes into your fucking eyeball”.
      A great memory of the patio days…soaking your feet in ice water shooting the shit with your coworker and epic and i mean epic water fights that intrigued enough guys at the bar to come out and laugh. God i wish Teef had gotten doused…imagine the stain theyd have to powerwash off the concrete.

      • Unbelievable

        Right, you have to serve your dues as the newbie. But, since she’s a celeb in her own mind, she thinks she should have primo shifts and station

        • Stelio Kontos

          What are the odds she said something to the effect of “Do you see these tits? These tits aren’t made to work outside”?

          • Unbelievable

            As they may melt in extreme heat

          • Habib Fazil

            Or burst into flames…

            Anybody know the Flashpoint for silicone?

        • I can just see her in her too-tight clothes and inappropriate shoes making faces and fighting with the manager, stinking like old booze and jizz, drawing attention to herself while people are paying to fucking eat.

          • El Hijo De Fistfight

            This weekend my waitress grabbed the wrong plate and I started to eat it because I was hungry and then realized the mistake. So after flagging her down the correct food was brought over. Unfortunately I had the counter seat & got to witness the other bitch waitress attempt to ream her out because now she had to wait for a new plate for her customer. I tipped the girl well and left my opinion about the bitch with the management. Maybe it’s my old ass morals but you don’t try and embarrass your coworker in front of clientele. Save the petty shit for the break room.

          • El Hijo De Fistfight

            I don’t do it for the accolades or attention, I’m just out there working hard for the fans. Gotta give the big man upstairs the praise, may he bless my Tuesday night hoops game with the sight to avoid turnovers.

          • smugjew

            …flirting with every table of guys…ignoring every table of women because they’re “jealous”…

          • Mouthing off to the cooks and taking other servers orders that come up before hers, demanding to be first off shift, spending time spackling her fucking face instead of participating in sidework like shes a celebrity server, stiffing the busboys and bartender on tip shares (that last one will blacklist her from ever getting a job in Denver).

          • Unbelievable

            And the cooks control your fate

          • Habib Fazil

            Yeah but she’s on the Internet y’all…

        • Can you see this claptrap piece of entitled garbage balancing plates against her tits? Fucking old spray tan flaking off onto your food? I bet her nails are filthy https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/27eb69c0b952f2853c95f190139be75dbfab6ad8825d606a62601ac68dea1e90.gif

          • Unbelievable

            I would pay to see her balancing plates

          • El Hijo De Fistfight

            Ohhhh that gif sent me into a giggle fit.

    • Vivian

      I was thinking the same thing. She’s continually creating quite the dis-reputation for herself.

    • El Hijo De Fistfight

      I don’t understand how she’s getting past the interview process unless slurp slurp slurp is the interview.

      • Maia

        She went from tending bar in AC to standing outside in 100 degree weather in the blazing sun.

        • El Hijo De Fistfight

          I doubt very much she was the bartender. She had to be a server because there is no WAY they would allow her to be in charge of that much booze.

          • Unbelievable

            She was bartender at Bar Louie and probably gave the bar away

          • El Hijo De Fistfight

            Corporate places like that don’t usually like the bartender buying the next round.

          • Unbelievable

            She probably collected and pocketed it

          • El Hijo De Fistfight

            THAT is believable. Dee’s Double Drop.

          • Habib Fazil

            Gave, drank, either way serious shrinkage in the inventory…

        • Mzzy Rivy

          It’s called a promotion?

      • Unityyy

        It’s her tits. Plenty of service industry places hire her titties, not her. But I wouldn’t put past the need to audition as well..

    • chris

      I just spent a couple hours with my 12 year old on the dangers of the internet and the long term damage social media can cause. I used the ZW Nation as a prime example that if you act like an asshole and do stupid a-hole things on social media – these fine commenters here will deservedly light you up and worst part is Stanford,(wants to go there) will make a paper airplane out of your application. Thank You ZW Nation – the light bulb went on!

    • LostWithoutVirgil

      And when a picture shows up of you when you Google “Struggle Wig” you need to do some self reinventing…

  103. Unbelievable

    What corporate job is going to hire her with the girls all hanging out and clown makeup on

    • Digitus impudicus

      Those ugly things are not ‘girl,’ they are circus tits! Goes with clown makeup, dontcha know …

      • Unbelievable

        My bad, lol

        • Digitus impudicus

          No “bad” at all! I had to figure out a way to enhance the “circus” theme, LOL! Because, as my man always says, I always take jokes way too far. 🙂

  104. Unbelievable

    Anyone in the Denver area take this and go see Robbie (in the comment below) How long did it take until he googled her? Two minutes, if that https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/10104a87260bd1e9d706db6d988f7addfc40a05355d7c3182fad8d56ae44edd4.png

      • El Hijo De Fistfight

        Apologize* Robbie. Cmon man.

        • Digitus impudicus

          Actually, that is the non-American English way of spelling it. Our “z” in “ize” is an “s.” I copy edit for a living, and I’m also part British. Robbie may be a Canadian or from the UK or Australia. 🙂

          • Unbelievable

            He did have an accent when I spoke with him on the phone

          • I personally cant go so far as to call anyones job to fuck with them, not judging, just surprised at the level of vitriol this cunt inspires. In any case, she fucked shit up all on her own. Thats how i like my zw celebs, fucking shit up in the wild without interference from humans. Thanks Teef!

          • Unbelievable

            She had already quit and a new restaurant is getting slammed while she was there. Like someone else posted, most upscale restaurants make you sign a social networking policy. My guess was when she realized she has no money coming in, and being that she’s the bestest server in her eyes, she’d go back for her next shift like nothing happened.

          • Habib Fazil

            Does she realize the amount of free entertainment she is providing?

          • The_Truth_Hurts2012

            I do believe teef was striking at someone’s child. That’s some pretty low stuff there…

          • Digitus impudicus

            I’m sure he discusses the various flavours of martinis! 🙂

          • El Hijo De Fistfight

            Then Robbie can learn how to spell American or get the fuck out and give the job back to a real MERICAN.

          • Stelio Kontos

            I am noticing a lot of fake British accents in the New Orleans and Baton Rouge area. If guys down here in the south are faking it, they must be running rampant in Co. Maybe Robbie is a fake Brit and really committed to his facade.
            Who knows, I just wanted an opportunity to express my disdain for these unpatriotic, futbol playing, rugby talkin nancy boys.

          • chris

            Thanks for this…spot on! My English “mate” as he refers to me battle on this all the time just to bust each others chops. Oh – that and the pronunciation of aluuminium is always a good laugh!

          • Habib Fazil

            Yup, besides a lot of extra “U” s, we also tend to use “S” instead of “Z”. One of the reasons I use UK English

    • El Hijo De Fistfight

      I like how her phone auto corrects the word Fucking to a capital F.

  105. not2slobro

    manual sex acts in exchange for touching metallica’s gear. that seems amusing

    • miss piglet

      Pictures or it didn’t happen!!!

      A sex tape would be epic!!!!!

      • Habib Fazil

        Really? You really sure that’s something you want to see? I just have to say no thank you…

  106. El Hijo De Fistfight

    I’m sure William stuck around for her entire shift & tipped 300%

  107. El Hijo De Fistfight

    She was clearly more concerned with sweating out the wig glue because you can’t tell me she wouldn’t stand outside and let her skin get even more leather like while scanning her phone for hours doing no work. My guess is her battery got down to 70% & without a charger she panicked.

  108. the real pintu

    What needs to happen is Sharkey should have her open up the Colorado branch of his company.

    I don’t see how that could go wrong.

    • TJ

      Yep, Sharkey Vine marketing. I’ll be investing my life savings in that IPO.

  109. Stelio Kontos

    Maybe it is time to give up the service industry and just go full time in the “service” industry

  110. AmericanTopTeam

    Wtf does she expect…she’s the new girl…you put in your time..you smile through the bullshit, you gladly volunteer to stay late to take that table that snuck in at the end. Then you get better stations… You dont come bouncing in on your first week bitching its hot! My station sucks! My face is meeeelting!! Stfu.

  111. Maia

    “Don’t you know who I am????” “I have followers!!!”

    If she had one ounce of brain cells, she’d go private on all social media before applying for a job.

    • AmericanTopTeam

      These days every restaurant/bar has a social media policy…popular ones in Orlando not only google you some request access to your Facebook…. No shit…this girl wouldnt stand a chance

      • El Hijo De Fistfight

        Nah I wouldn’t be cool at all with my employer having access to any private accounts I’ve chosen to use, not even Disqus.

    • smugjew

      You know she mentioned her 11k FB followers at the interview.

  112. Shikaka

    Knowing how much this bitch loves to exaggerate, it was probably about 20 minutes in the sun, her 3 tons of crappy makeup started to melt and overflowed her eyeballs with chinese chemicals. She couldn’t handle it since she already was heavily hangover and needed an excuse to go home and hibernate before another night out being brilliant party student.

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