ZW Catfish: Tiffany J Vine

The Cryptkeeper Stood Up by ZW

Question: How can someone who seems to only work the occasional happy hour shift at a nondescript chain restaurant in the Denver Tech Center; afford a $1500/month rent and trips to Costa Rica and Las Vegas in the same month?
Answer: She’s a hooker.
Tiffany Vine, the Cryptkeeper, has maintained a #CryptProfile on the site SeekingArrangements.com since 2011 and is still trying to land a trout.
6 solid years of fishing. No prize.
 
Sucks to be you Tiffany, maybe you’ll have to actually work for a living forever, while those cheerful, perky bitches around you get all the handbags.
 
To prove the hooker theory; ZW operative “Catherine” went undercover on a catfish mission to expose her and find the undeniable evidence we needed to expose Tiffany as a failed whore.
 
Looks like we can throw her in the hooker reject pile, along with Tricia Evans, guys.
 
Catherine gets a gold star.
 
First of all, let’s check out the lineup of busted hoes in Denver, all searching for that elusive permanent Sugar Daddy.
Nice profile pic, ~TJ~. You certainly are “one of a kind”. And maybe even in with a decent shot, looking at your competition.
That gray haired pic is a winner, also. Definitely keep that one. 😅
I’m a complicated individual.~TJ~
No shit.
So, just what exactly is the complicated individual known as the #MogulCrypt, looking for in a Sugar Daddy? (Let’s be clear – this is NOT a regular dating site, the girls signed up here are all looking for a free ride – her quote about a “MUTUALLY beneficial relationship”, proves just that.)
Catfish Catherine moves in for the kill and messages Tiffany. #MogulCrypt takes the bait and replies with a smattering of pseudo-intellectualism.
Tiffany flexes her #CryptNegotiation muscles…
Bitch, please. You have never managed to hook a trout for 800 a week. How do we know that? Your dog is still presumably pissing blood, you beg for tips at work, you need a roommate and you buy second hand hooker clothes from fellow social media sluts.
Our operative makes reservations at Denver restaurant Elway’s:
Tiffany, flabbergasted that she finally scored, announces her “date” on Facebook, in her signature salty way.
So now we know: every time she talks about a “date” on social media she is referring to hooking.
Tiffany arrives at the restaurant followed by a cloud of aquanet and high expectations.
She’s pretty damn keen to spend Sugar Daddy’s money on her first decent meal all month. #MogulCryptSelfie time!
Our operative suddenly feigns cold feet after a quick google search and texts Tiffany to say what she really looks like is not as advertised.
Tiffany proclaims she is “perfect” and brilliant.”

 

Tiffany soon realises she’s cornered and her “perfect” boobs aren’t going to save her. She flies into #CryptDefenceMode aka be-an-asshole-because-my-feelers-got-hurt mode.
She gets “paid just to go to dinner”, huh? Hmm. 700 bucks for your company at dinner? No, Tiff. That never has and never will happen. That 700 bucks was for the #CryptCunt. And it was a very optimistic price, I must say. No wonder she took a #CryptSelfie to mark the special occasion; she must have been giddy with excitement.
The next line of #CryptDefence is that this guy doesn’t mean shit anyway because she just got laid by “my dude” right before showing up to Elway’s.
Wait. A. Goddamn. Minute.
So now she has an imaginary boyfriend that gave her the D right before she went on a date for a potential $700?
Isn’t this the same person who always bitches about not having a boyfriend?!
What kind of cuckold would be the boyfriend of a hooker anyway? She spends half her life begging for cash for everyday items, rent and vet bills. What is this imaginary guy doing? Jeez even her imaginary boyfriend is a loser. Tiffany just can’t catch a break.
Oh Tiffany. What a tangled #MogulWeb you weave. Glad your night turned out so amazingly great. Keep that rubber façade up girl, it’s your only hope.