ZW Intelligence

‘Twas The Week Before Christmas…

A Very ZW Christmas

Merry Christmas to you ZW!

As we say goodbye to the fuckery of 2017, I’d like to share with you our very own Christmas story – ‘Twas The Week Before Christmas – penned by our dear Dawn Davenport.

 

Twas the week before Christmas

And all through the place

The hookers were stuffing old dicks in their face

And taking those pictures of their asscracks and gashes

Rent’ s due in two weeks 

Dicks getting tongue lashes

When out at the motel

There arose such a clatter

The patrons woke up saying 

“Shit, what’s the matter?!”

The sprang from their beds and looked out in the halls

A bitch was there kneeling and sucking old balls

And a perverted old fucker

So lively and quick

He was jamming her skull down

Shouting “bitch, suck my dick!”

His wad went a flying and dotted her eye

And he threw down a 20 yelling 

“Later, bitch bye”

Now amanda has choices and those choices be, keep fucking that faggot fronting monopoly 

Or call on her regs, yes, fuck them all!

A line of fat wallets will be out in the hall

On old guy, on hobo, and yes, piss on me

The lone guy that showed up  was you guessed it….Raaandy

And to add to the moments of holiday cheer

The door slammed on open says

It’s me, Tiffany

She’s drunk and shes filthy

Her boobs an assault

It’s hard not to think it’s her own mothers fault

Staggered into the hallway

She looks like a beast

Shows hairy old pussy and announces a feast 

The patrons are puking and running away 

And one of them came out the closet  as gay

Eyeballs were blinded by that wizard sleeve

A massacre happened, on that Christmas eve.

So when you need pussy and you’re in a pinch 

You’d be better off banging

The stanky old grinch 

The ZW Crew will be taking it easy over the holiday break and instead of posting, we’d love to hang out in this thread and intermittently pop in between all that eating, drinking and being merry shit to share inappropriate comments and memes. Christmas is at MY house this year, so I’m not sure if I’ll even let go of my whiskey bottle long enough to bang out many comments – but I’ll definitely try.

I wish you all a safe and happy holiday. Thank you for being with us, for contributing, for making us laugh our asses off and making this site a chillAF place to be. Bustin’ instaho chops is no fun without the ZW Nation and I look forward to exposing the insta-famous with you all in 2018. Keep it real guys.

0 Comments

  1. greatspunk

    Triple D is a national treasure! All the art that comes from her should be and will be collected at the Smithsonian Museum.

  2. GoodPersephone

    How do you post those here!

  3. dawndavenportddd

    KG! Felice Navidad ! Prospero ano e felicidad

  4. Bout time you showed up. Disqus hates zw and we're not invited to the Christmas party.

  5. dawndavenportddd

    By ALL means!

    • Feminazi

      You have a gift. I laughed, I cried….well done 3D. You're in Cooperstown.

  6. MalloryKnox666

    Love and miss u guys so much! Am I the only one seeing a different comment system on the teefs thread??? I jhave so many screen shots!!!!!

  7. MalloryKnox666

    I miss disqus too.

    • ATopTeam

      Brock, Kane, Braun….Kane is in the match just to take the f5 and pin…getting tired of Brock either go fulltime or put the belt on someone else

      • Stelio_Kontos

        I understand part timers now. I think a lot of wrestlers would've aged better (isn't that nice way of saying "not be dead") if they were able to slowly bow out WWE/F or WCW once upon a time.
        It allows guys who have earned upper card status to remain relevant and employed, while not being a slave to the schedule.
        Holding a belt hostage is a bit much, but I can't blame Brock or WWE, something had to give.

        • ElHijoDeHotCock

          I don't think Brock is bringing in enough "star power" to validate him holding the belt for the entire year while appearing at 4 ppvs & his salary. It's not like he's moving a ton of merch with that stupid Jimmy Johns t shirt

          • Stelio_Kontos

            Brock is an anomaly because he is physically still in tact, but he is also a piece of WWE nostalgia. His name / image catches casual and former fans, but current WWE fans demand more.
            The days of dark matches and house shows are over. WWE is 24/7 now, they need 24/7 (aka younger) stars.
            WWE pushes WWE network, but still book like they live and die with PPV. Not sure who the current bookers are, but there must be some old names in there. Btw, please don't tell me HHH has a hand in actual booking and determining who gets pushed.

          • ElHijoDeHotCock

            I think it's fantastic that Brock hasn't figured out that WWE has cut pyro from the budget and continues his choreographed arm swinging to when they should be going off. But I'm no longer/nor have I ever been impressed by JiggleTits bouncing around while Paul cuts his promo for him. As soon as Rousey & the stupid woman "4 whoresmen" come in and start that program I'm likely to tune the fuck out for years again.

          • MalloryKnox666

            Preach it good brother! In too sweet we trust.

          • ElHijoDeHotCock

            Road Dogg is booking SmackDown which I enjoy more because it has more of my favorites. HHH ACTUALLY is the mind behind NXT which is absolutely fantastic and their PPVs(Network specials to me because PPV is a dead form) constantly steal the weekend from the main roster going the following day. I love what Trips is doing down in Florida and he actually has a finger on the current pulse of the wrestling landscape. His Game gimmick when he shows up on RAW is completely separated from what he does calling the shots in Florida.

          • MalloryKnox666

            Do you watch ROH or NJPW? While not the same production level as wwe, they are more exciting. Look at the alpha vs omega.

      • MalloryKnox666

        Yeah Kane is gonna eat the f5. Reigns will get the universal belt soon, while my beloved Finn balor keeps getting fucked over.

  8. MalloryKnox666

    Merry Christmas y'all!

  9. Karo

    How much do you charge per hour on webcam these days?

  10. ATopTeam

    Merry Christmas everyone hope you are all spending the day eating and drinking with family and friends…save the spread butt cheek instagram pics for after Mom goes home

  11. Sammi Jo

    Merry Christmas & joy to you…and maybe a lil' drinky poo!

    <img src='https://s9.pixxxels.org/f2hrmdbz3/Dcr_Oc_ND.gif&#039; border='0' alt='Dcr_Oc_ND'/>

    • MsConduct

      Unfortunately I'm not on Pinterest and can't see your post.

      • JimU113

        Shows a transmission and some car exhuast (?) pipes. Caption: "The only way you can hang with two dirty hookers and a tranny"

  12. heauxbagh

    Thank you DD. That was a beautiful masterpiece I must say!!

  13. Digitus impudicus

    D to the 3 is The BEST! Brilliant, girl, thank you so much. I love to laugh! Happy Christmas to you and your family!

  14. ATopTeam

    Anyone have any gift ideas for 5 year old and 2 year old girls who have everything? Is some cute luggage a shitty gift (they've gone to Europe and China) i am their favorite and they are more excited about what IM getting them than Santa…fuck me i feel pressure. Also no dolls they own every one made

    • Digitus impudicus

      How about a "date voucher" — meaning you take them for a day to a fun Disney type park, or a tea party, or the beach — just a totally fun day/afternoon together. Meaning, an experience rather than a thing. Just an idea! Happy Christmas, everyone!

      • ATopTeam

        Great idea doing one for both of them!

      • ATopTeam

        Man i cannot thank you enough for this they absolutely go crazy for just me and them time…they will freak when they know they will each get to hit Disney up one at a time just me and them…thanks again!!!

    • HazeBo

      Always willing to help a fellow Z-dubber who waits to the last minute for Christmas shopping. I'm the same way. Art supplies and/or gifts that allow them to be creative are my go to. Although DI's idea for date voucher is also a rad idea. Maybe combine the two! Get them the supplies and a the voucher to use with them! Cook, bake, paint! Scroll Instagram and point out the instaho's so they know not become "Instagram models." Good luck ATT & Merry fackin Christmas!!!

    • SexyKaro

      They used to call them cardboard doll. They come in a book they are made of card board and come with pages of clothing to pin in thr doll its super low tech.

    • Feminazi

      I missed ya. I hope youre doing well.

    • Maia131313

      Nothing better to do on Christmas Day, Cousin Fucker?

      • habibfazil

        Nope, looks like the family has decided that molesting under age cousins and others is no longer fashionable ans they're protecting them from Alyisia…

        FINALLY, think of the future generations she's already ruined!

      • MalloryKnox666

        I guess the psych ward gives day passes for Christmas.

    • dawndavenportddd

      Seriously? Years have passed…fucking YEARS since you were made fully aware that nobody wants your ass anywhere near us. Nobody gives a fuck about any thoughts, opinions, or issues you have. The fact that you tenaciously cling to us for YEARS and on CHRISTMAS is beyond pathetic – it's seriously time for you to kill yourself. I recommend painkillers, booze, and a plastic bag over your head.

      • Feminazi

        Too long. I agree. We need more of this gal. Today and always.

        • JimU113

          Where narcissism intersects psychosis. Film at eleven.

          • Feminazi

            Ill bring the popcorn James. I havent been this excited since I watched a Boyz N The Hood matinee and then snuck into Terminator 2.

      • habibfazil

        Way to quick and painless.

        Bleach, drano, lye, NOW that is what that thing from Detroit should be drinking…

    • Adolph Oliver Bush

      Will you unblock me so I can send nudez? Ive finally got more than one ab and I wanted to show you.

  15. SDD

    Cute gif, SJ. Love it.

    How about a few awkward family Christmas photos, with pets?

    Maybe a few humping dogs?

    <img src="https://s9.pixxxels.org/77xtlx14f/3_E570495-_FBE6-4778-9_D27-_B0_BB0039_BCAF.jpg&quot; alt="3_E570495-_FBE6-4778-9_D27-_B0_BB0039_BCAF"/>
    <img src="https://s9.pixxxels.org/qd12voni7/C4_BE2_A34-84_C5-4755-_BE94-_D02_C6_C4_ACA7_B.jpg&quot; alt="C4_BE2_A34-84_C5-4755-_BE94-_D02_C6_C4_ACA7_B"/>

    This one… I’m not really sure how to describe it. Its just fucked up.

    <img src='https://s9.pixxxels.org/tjvmfh0a7/3006_F882-6091-445_C-_BD60-6_A3_C292_F7988.jpg&#039; border='0' alt='3006_F882-6091-445_C-_BD60-6_A3_C292_F7988'/>

    • SexyKaro

      Soooo many questions here.

      • SDD

        Agreed. The primary one I have is whether this picture is real. In my estimation it could easily be either. For better or worse, I wouldn’t be surprised to find out there is a freak out there that likes carrying around a doll.

    • heauxbagh

      LOL the two dogs humping is amazing.

  16. SDD

    Yea, he’s not looking happy at all. Huskys are beautiful animals.

  17. Tuco Pacifico

    Well done

  18. JimU113

    Bravo. I will be keeping an eye on my end of the dirty ho universe, in case they drop something notable.

  19. TJ______

    Legend has it that Santa started saying ho ho ho after he saw the women who are regularly posted on this site (with Amanda and Emily being the exceptions).

  20. Fuck

    This site takes way to long to load ow. Fuck u

  21. Maia131313

    I'm back!!!!! That was fucking hilarious!!!!

  22. VvV

    Bravo I loved it

  23. Stelio_Kontos

    Now that was festive!!!

  24. SexyKaro

    Well trust me when I say….watch out for Ur local police force…they are dangerous pricks and dirty lesbians…

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