ZW Intelligence

Twink182 Snubbed from NestSeekers Party

ZW Update: Kurt Benz aka Twink182

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Poor Kurt just can’t catch a break. He can’t keep a girlfriend because of his closeted homosexuality. His efforts to get his mug on TV with NestSeekers are failing miserably despite his online following. He still hasn’t sold a property in Beverly Hills. Aaaaand he wasn’t invited to the NestSeekers party for NS #family only.

Here’s a group shot of the attendees from NestSeekers Beverly Hills Team:

Nope. No Kurt. Ouch. 

What was Twink182 up to instead? Hanging out at Calabassas Laser Away Clinic instead. Literal Ouch.

Why is poor Kurt STILL not able to get in with the NestSeekers crowd? Is it because of his gay-as-fuck Agent Profile pic? I’m sure it has the team sniggering.

 

Orrrr maybe it’s because there are still pics like THIS floating around the web…

Yeah. Million Dollar Listing doesn’t need THAT kinda “it was just a phase” publicity. Now, looking at these photos…sure, he got an insta-makeover and we know he got a new oversized grill, but did Kurtlynn get a nose job? That thing was huge. 

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0 Comments

  1. @MissTriciaEvans

    The comments on this site are lit AF. How the hell are you all not professional writers?

  2. ToiletSitter69

    Apparently he was “too busy making money” I’ve only found 2-3 listings he’s sold on google. I find that hard to believe. I also find it hard to believe his parents are “rich” – Either something he made up, or people just assume.

  3. When I was super little, like seven years old, I remember being entranced with this girl on my block because she had full 16 candles headgear. Just fascinated. I think I even made one out of shit in the junk drawer. She also had like man thighs and I thought they were fascinating too. I felt scrawny and inadequate around her. Looking back, she was a total fucking bully. I think somebody got tired of her shit once and grabbed her by the face cage and shook her but I could have dreamed about it…she was a mean bitch and picked on little kids…like me. Pretty sure if anyone laid a hand on that contraption her mother would have shown up with a nail-studded baseball bat. That shit was a status symbol in my hood- orthodonture, that is.

  4. Kurt is the type that asks to have his ass eaten, I’m sure. Then he pulls out his favorite 14 inch dildo and begs for someone to shove it up his gaping manhole.

  5. This guy is the worst kind of narcissist. I’ve noticed a trend that the men with the smallest dicks are the ones who try the hardest to be something cool. It’s like he’s trying to compensate for how much he’s lacking downstairs. No matter how hard he tries to be a man the lack of junk in his tighty whiteys will haunt him for eternity. Can you imagine this idiot still trying to do this bullshit into his 30’s and 40’s? Posing for shots like he’s a fucking model and googling ridiculous quotes for his instagram it’s all so cringeworthy I think most of his followers are simply embarrassed for him.

  6. Pam

    He just went up a point. That puts him at one.

  7. You know, if he had a modicum of personality and hadn’t run around like a flailing little bitch back in the Myspace/emo/Doom period he could have perhaps been something..like Erkel only dorkier or Screech but twice as gay…he personifies the 90s dork emos back then, and he actually did get spots on TV or rather, A spot. But he had to make it about himself and has no clue how to make being outlandish work for him. Like now, for example, if he was devilishly witty and owned his gayness, he could probably ride the hipster wagon in some way. But alas, as in everything In his life, he is just a basic in costume thinking he’s fooling people into believing he fucking matters.

  8. Tony Soprano Jr.

    Not even cool enough for those douches at Nutseekers….smfh

  9. smugjew

    Do you think this article has made the rounds at Nest Seekers Beverly Hills yet?

    I’m going with “yes”! Got a good feeling Kurt’s association with this realtor is coming to an end.

  10. Maia

    Bwahaha!

  11. Maia

    Braces here, too!

  12. love me some Family Guy!

    • Maia

      HAHAHA! These are hilarious! So glad I grew up when I did. If you didn’t see it, it didn’t happen.

  13. ToiletSitter69

    oh hell yeah i’m back and ready to clog your toilet with drama.

    I fucking love how fiesty DDD is i’ve been lurking and beating off to her comments lately lmfao.

    • Pam

      I used to love reading “the shitty” while on the crapper. Now this is my fav site. Love the name toiletsitter

  14. Damn she needs to get laid. Who would want an effiminate “lumberjack” anywhere near their ass. Lol he’s a “hummerjack” and does those waay better. Maybe Melanie should grow a penis.

  15. DUSTY RHODES

    bwahhhhhHHH!!! LOLOLOL!!

  16. AmericanTopTeam

    I wish Kurt Doom would come back

  17. €r2

    One day, when his parents die, he cant even find a place like this to live in.https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0779807ac0526803b32fdd676d348ff90c293ecae9a00f989ccd56b99ea189a8.jpg

  18. Lol. NutSeekers. So good.

  19. AmericanTopTeam

    Even Kurt knows that’s where the poo comes from

  20. AmericanTopTeam

    Is that from the Kurt Doom phase?? Lol

  21. Omg the before emo phase pics are comedy gold! His veneers are overboard but the before teef were hideous

  22. Katie

    I actually have a very good friend who is one of the top selling agents for Nest Seekers in Beverly Hills. I do not want to throw his name out there, but he has met Kurt and noted that he has had zero success with the agency. He says NS employees over 50 agents but many of them are just a name and license, and don’t actually contribute to the agency as far as sales go. I will have to make an effort to pry some more info out of him next time I see him.

  23. This guy has re-branded himself. His Mom & Dad told him to clean up his shit or they wont pay for the Condo anymore. He wants instant change. He went to his Dentist, his surgeon, and his gay hairdresser to get help. Unfortunately he shops for clothes in outlet malls when he should be at Brooks Brothers. There is a saying….let’s perfume the pig and sell it.

    His female friend (Melanie) just wants a guy to pay the bills (note the pic on IG where she posts a picture of where she wants to be in 10 years surrounded by high end shopping bags). It’s not about shopping, its about having a heart, riding the cock, and being a little less self-absorbed, bitch.

    These people are all clueless assholes. They have no idea where the money comes from or how you make it. This Melanie isn’t going to get “wifed up” by any successful guy, and ol’ Kurt (regardless of his sexual orientation) is a hopeless LOSER….and always will be a LOSER.

    • I’m surprised she didn’t add “eat my raw shit with a spoon” bitch, no wonder you’re trying to marry up with a spoiled faggot with rich parents. No man wants your fucking bullshit. Get a goddam job, dumb cunt

      • Yeah once I got to the part that says “A man that won’t let me go even if I push him away” I rolled my eyes. Nobody wants to deal with that shit. If you push me away I’ll slam the god damn door on your ass. Ain’t nobody got time for that!

    • JimU113

      Sounds like she wants a wallet with borderline Beta issues.

    • Tony Soprano Jr.

      Fucking awesome!

    • AmericanTopTeam

      Omg Fire Island hahaha

    • Maia

      She went private! Maybe she finally realized Kurtlynn wants his own Sugar Daddy!

    • Johnny "M'Fing" Drama

      “I want a man that won’t let me go, even if i push him away”.

      And this is why men end up receiving restraining orders from their ex girlfriends. nobody listen to this dumb bitch, she doesn’t even know what the fuck she’s talking about.

      • o3mta3o

        I was gonna say the same.
        That’s shit is psycho and she’s a psycho for saying it.
        The real kicker would have been if she ended it with #nodrama

    • Lilly

      Gayer than Liberace#!!!

  24. Maia

    HAHAHA! I found the ultimate nail in the coffin! Look at this stoopid moron with his imaginary big dick! Melanie? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/09b7296d0b48a115bab0374db590dce534001289645f3bec3cb575be3f1aad33.png You wish! Kurt Tracy, Kurt Pinto, Kurt Benz, Aviv Benayoone? The fucking internet is FOREVER!

    • No IG, no Facebook, no Twitter, no Snapchat, no Yahoo, no LinkedIn, no nothing = NO PROBLEMS

      It helps also if you don’t do stupid shit and then pretend it never happened.

      You want to get ahead in this world? Have some CHARACTER

      (Sorry I haven’t commented in a while, but I have been unplugged in Bali)

    • Dead Man's Dog

      Snagged-toothed bugger. No wonder no gayrod wants a BJ from him with those teeth.

      His nickname at the bath house was ‘Shredder’

    • Baby carrots anyone?

    • that dildo is bigger than his skeleton arms

  25. Pam

    If he sold even one house in BH he would have a commission over $10k. Or does the $10k club mean over 10k a month? It probably does but any real estate person in BH should be able to pull that monthly even if just in leases

  26. Donnie Darko

    Poor Kurt wants to be Josh Flagg from Million Dollar Listing LA, and for the record he is the same sexual orientation as Josh.

  27. smugjew

    Okay, this is a stretch as far as cultural references but anyone here ever watch Mr. Show? Remember the sketch where they caught Bob Odenkirk on tape as a gay hustler? “Hey man, wanna party?”

    That’s what Emo Kurt looks like.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9ce765927edee730439b9bfdae1e6edf8b8ca60be8ffbb8e01cbf4166c8d1764.gif

  28. smugjew

    Have to make a sale to get invited to the party.

    “Coffee is for closers”

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