ZW Intelligence

WTF: Christmas Edition

WTF Wednesday: Christmas Edition

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If you’re not sick of hearing Mariah Carey Christmas songs yet – then you’re not ready for Christmas (or you’ve been smart and shopped online thus avoiding the constant loop of All I Want for Chistmas is You running through your head).

What Christmas would be complete without the insta-whorde and their oh so original festive pics? We’ve seen Sharkey’s 837 Christmas photos with NO BABY, so let’s take a look at the other hoes that are in the Christmas spirit already.

Here’s Sarah Scheller aka Smashed Crab wearing nothing but Photoshop as she Gimps by the tree:

If you thought Ashley Alexiss and her Whale in the Sea pic was bad, check out her Sausage by the Tree photo. 

Then there’s Kina looking xanny’ed out of her mind, sitting on the lap of what looks to be the creepiest pedo looking Santa ever, complete with Pornstache. You know this guy only took the job in Marquee because hoes love a pic on a stranger’s lap. Wait, is that the Diaper Sniper Fakio??

Dave “All I want for Christmas is to be young again” Grutman is going to a bunch of shit shows, including Bieber. How cute.

Amanda L’hommedon’t is going to spend her Christmas being pooped on by Mohammad. Yes, Karma is a beautiful place.

Add in any missing Christmas insta-hoes in the comments!

 

0 Comments

  1. Maia

    And now she’s claiming she has a boyfriend. Yeesh, right. Little does he know.

  2. Nurse Jiggles

    Poop 4 pesos made me laugh!!

  3. I ❤ IT! You always come through with the visuals!

  4. not2slobro

    if she were a guy…most likely have bragging rights to a 12″ schlong….

  5. not2slobro

    sadly, Kina is probably only one convinced that truly IS the real santa….

  6. Whitney BeatMe

    Lazy whore!!!!!

  7. Persephone

    Miss Abu Fecal Dabu really screwed up her nose.

  8. Whitney BeatMe

    So fatty’s dream is to sit in front of an undecorated tree, getting net wear that scares everyone. At least the butterball is dreaming bigger than her ass.

    • My x mas ode to IG hoes:

      You’re a hooker
      Fuckin bitch
      You really are a skank
      You’re as fugly as a dookie
      and your box is pretty rank
      Just keepin it real…
      You’re a good advertisement for an acid dermatological peel

      You’re a dbag
      Fuckin bitch
      You’re a scary Gaping hole
      You have scabies on your asshole
      And delusion of the soul
      Fuckin bitch
      I wouldn’t touch you with Dan Bilzerians pole

      You’re a foul one, fuckin bitch
      You and your giant snatch
      You think we buy your fronting
      While old ballsacks slap your gash
      Stupid liar
      Given a choice between seeing you #nofilter I would preferably
      Burn up your ass with fire

      You’re a foul one, grody bitch
      Your life’s a pointless pile of bunk
      For your new years resolution
      I suggest you wash your junk
      Dumbass bitch
      The words that best describe you besides deluded punk?
      Laughable loser Cunt!!! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/70fdb25652cf72e0b90f14e341e6cd9404731a725acbdd8a4e9d597f1fa5b1a4.jpg

      • Maia

        HAHAHA! I’m dying!

      • Persephone

        Genius.

      • Penza

        AMAZING!!!

      • Sammi Jo

        You’re the shit DDD! Hillarious

      • Let me have a crack at this, ZW style (Let It Snow..)

        Oh your unfiltered photos are frightful
        But those PhotoShop skills are so delightful
        And since you’ve got no money fo’ sho
        You’re a hoe, you’re a hoe, you’re a hoe

        Your social media shows no signs of stopping
        And you’re paid for that pussy to be popping
        Put the crack pipe way down low
        You’re a hoe, you’re a hoe, you’re a hoe!

        When we finally fuck tonight
        How I’d hate to go in raw
        But if you really fuck me right
        I’ll leave the cash on your dresser drawer

        Your Instagram likes are slowly dying
        And my dear your posts are all about lying
        But as long as your Beta followers love you so
        You’re a hoe, you’re a hoe, you’re a hoe!

        Your social media shows no signs of stopping
        And you’re paid for that pussy to be popping
        Put the crack pipe way down low
        You’re a hoe, you’re a hoe, you’re a hoe!
        OH… you’re a hoe!

        All the way home I’ll be thinking
        Was your pussy really stinkin’

        The fire is slowly dying
        And if I said you were good in bed I’d be lying
        As long you fucked me so

        You’re a hoe, you’re a hoe, you’re a hoe!
        You’re a hoe, you’re a hoe, you’re a hoe!
        You’re a hoe, you’re a hoe, you’re a hoe!

        https://play.google.com/music/preview/T4ejjbmwpv3hcv2frbosjj3kopq?lyrics=1&utm_source=google&utm_medium=search&utm_campaign=lyrics&pcampaignid=kp-lyrics

  9. Maia

    She only lasted 2 days!

  10. Maia

    What do you suppose happened in Abu Dhabi that Lhommedont was only there for a weekend?

  11. JimU113

    “Aw, did Biebe just make a poopy?”

  12. JimU113

    His diaper’s showing.

  13. JimU113

    Or at least a crack. Sideways.

  14. JimU113

    That would constitute shit on top of shit. Amirite?

  15. Miranda Rights

    That looks exactly like horsey hoe and little gimpy! Amazing!

  16. Kay More

    ET

  17. Kay More

    So tattoos make Dave Gruntman acceptable-umm no.

  18. Right! Those decorations are struggling hard, as is her gimped, smushed head. Still reminds me of a Skipper doll with head pushed all the way down on the neck. We could also call her “Gimper”, Barbie’s special needs little sister.

  19. Digitus impudicus

    Trashley…Land ho already, you fat fucking cunt.

  20. Digitus impudicus

    The world can see kina’s kunta.

  21. Dead Man's Dog

    Holy shitz I gotta cruise her IG pics to see if her fingers are E.T.’d

  22. OldWineBox

    “All I want for Christmas is a non government sanctioned apartment complex!” Bitch living hella hovel style!

  23. OldWineBox

    Tis a damn shame what happened to Ashley’s fishnet monstrosity. I heard it got swallowed up by her Marianna’s Trench. Know what I’m saying?! Thank you, thank you everyone, tip your wait staff, they’re working so hard for you tonight! 🙂

    • Dead Man's Dog

      ‘What to do when all your dreams come true?’

      Bish, since you were just wishin Mickey D’s would bring back the McRib, grab $10 in change outta your fat rolz and waddle your dimpled ass up to the drive thru window!

      • OldWineBox

        You know that bish eats more than just the ribs. That fishnet hoe looks like she enjoys the whole hog treatment to me. 🙂

    • AmericanTopTeam

      Skid marks really ruin a nice pair of sexy panties.. *HURL*

    • Maia

      What would you do if someone actually bought you some cheap Pink Lipstick lingerie? I’d cry.

      • OldWineBox

        It would be a suitable end to a relationship that should end anyway. Nothing says, “WRONG PERSON” like having that arrive as a gift. 🙂

  24. OldWineBox

    I wish this bitch would phone home. Btw, in my mind, her home is hell. Cheers!

  25. smugjew

    Ashley Alexiss needs to do something about those bingo wings.

    And grown men getting excited to see Biebs and Skrillex?

    http://i.giphy.com/aVgaFxzKX9E64.gif

  26. Penza

    Kina has some very freaky fingers. WTF!

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